Three Badgers/Corps Characters of the Past
Posted: Thu 25 Oct, 2007 2:57 am
Far to many keen young chaps on here all fretting about pressups n stuff!
Many moon ago a gentleman called Percy Sedge who could best be described as a Corps character was plodding back from the athetics stadium dragging his Throwing hammer behind on the deck towards his grot (Barracks room).
Keen young 2nd Lt aspies our Percy lumbering along (Percy must have weighed in at around 19/20 stone, he was built along the lines of a brickshithouse!). Keen young Officer shouts out at Percy;
"Marine Sedge! Why are you dragging that throwing hammer along the ground?"
"Cos I'm to fecking tired to push it sir!"
Cue a senior officer walking along with the keen young officer desparately trying to keep a straight face and failing totally.
Percy was in the same ward as I was in at RNH Stonehouse in 1974. His back was knackered, my knee was knackered. Percy decides to have a bath and play his clarinet whilst lying in said bath. A Naval Nurse Birmingham being a right nasty bit of work walked into the bathroom and ordered Perce to stop playing....Muted words were heard then a scream, then a splash.......NN Birmingham comes running out of the bathroom pissed wet though. Perce had got out of the bath and heaved her in it.
A few seconds later this man mountain lumbered out into the ward and told everyone that he "Don't like bints who hate music" and with that returned to the bathroom where after a few seconds the clarinet was once more heard by the ward. Christ but he was terrible at playing it but who in their right mind would tell him that then?
One day in the Seaton Barracks galley a straight out of the box young Marine sat at the same table as our Perce and without saying a word reached over and procurred the Heinz Tomato Ketchup and poured it over his breakfast...........Big Mistake that was. Perce had paid out his own dosh for the bottle as he hated the NAAFI tomato ketchup that was normally put on all the tables. Up gets Perce looking at the young Marine with daggers in his eyes, young Marine starts to shit himself, Perce leaned over the table, placed both his hands on either side of the young Marines cheeks and then planted a big wet kiss on the poor bugger lips, sat back in his seat, smiled and sayeth "Next time just ask Skin"
First time I ever met Perce was when I was at RMB Deal where I joined up. Perce was one of the storeman who issued us with our interim kit. The bugger gave me a pair of Owd Parade Boots instead of the standard DMS boots. The poxy things nearly killed me as they had no grip whatsoever and I later found out that Perce always did this to one member of a new recruit troop just to see the poor sod sliding all over the place.
Some bright spark thought it would be a good idea to put Perce in charge of the POL point (the place where you filled up with petrol, Deisel and oil) at Seaton Barracks where 40CDORM were at that time based. Now Perce was a creature of habit, as in he would open when he was ready and not before he had had a wet of char and started the Sun crossword puzzle. Along came an Army Land Rover with a Major driving it. Major Honks Horn and demands that Perce filled up his tanks. Perce looks up and says "Do it yerself, I'm busy" The Major went apeshit at this mere Marine telling him to do it himself and demands that Perce shifts his arse and does as he's told.........Oooops!
Perce walked up to the Land Rover sticks his head though the window and spoke to this Pongo Major. Pongo Major is off like shit from a shiney shovel in the direction of Dartmoor. The MT Tp Sgt Major plucked up the courage and asks Perce just what had he said to the Pongo Major. Perce it seems offered to do a complete MOT on the Major starting with Perce lubricating said Majors arsewhole with the first thing that came to hand, to wit a grease gun. A few days later Perce lost his job after various phonecalls from Irate Army officers. He wasn't charged but instead was sent to the QM's where he landed the cushiest job going, Bedding Storeman! The Three Badge Marines dream job!!
The last time I saw Perce was on his leaving the Corps runashore down Union Street in Plymouth. With him he had an accordion which he insisted on playing regardless off the location. You should have seen the Bouncers at Cascades trying to ask him to stop playing it as it was drowning out the Disco!! At the end of the runashore Perce bimbled over to me, looked at me long and hard and then handed over the accordion to me saying "Here you go Steve, treasure it Oppo" And I did right up until I myself left the Corps and in the time honoured tradition handed it over to another young Bootneck. For all I know it's still doing the rounds of the units to this day. Nice if it was.
Perce was one of many Corps Characters that I had the pleasure and honour of meeting during my time. They are now rare as hens teeth these days as the Three Badge Marine is a rarity within the Corps now. But back then there were still a fair few around and they were the mainstay of the Corps. All had seen action in various places and all were respected by the youngest marine right up to the CGRM.
Artist
Many moon ago a gentleman called Percy Sedge who could best be described as a Corps character was plodding back from the athetics stadium dragging his Throwing hammer behind on the deck towards his grot (Barracks room).
Keen young 2nd Lt aspies our Percy lumbering along (Percy must have weighed in at around 19/20 stone, he was built along the lines of a brickshithouse!). Keen young Officer shouts out at Percy;
"Marine Sedge! Why are you dragging that throwing hammer along the ground?"
"Cos I'm to fecking tired to push it sir!"
Cue a senior officer walking along with the keen young officer desparately trying to keep a straight face and failing totally.
Percy was in the same ward as I was in at RNH Stonehouse in 1974. His back was knackered, my knee was knackered. Percy decides to have a bath and play his clarinet whilst lying in said bath. A Naval Nurse Birmingham being a right nasty bit of work walked into the bathroom and ordered Perce to stop playing....Muted words were heard then a scream, then a splash.......NN Birmingham comes running out of the bathroom pissed wet though. Perce had got out of the bath and heaved her in it.
A few seconds later this man mountain lumbered out into the ward and told everyone that he "Don't like bints who hate music" and with that returned to the bathroom where after a few seconds the clarinet was once more heard by the ward. Christ but he was terrible at playing it but who in their right mind would tell him that then?
One day in the Seaton Barracks galley a straight out of the box young Marine sat at the same table as our Perce and without saying a word reached over and procurred the Heinz Tomato Ketchup and poured it over his breakfast...........Big Mistake that was. Perce had paid out his own dosh for the bottle as he hated the NAAFI tomato ketchup that was normally put on all the tables. Up gets Perce looking at the young Marine with daggers in his eyes, young Marine starts to shit himself, Perce leaned over the table, placed both his hands on either side of the young Marines cheeks and then planted a big wet kiss on the poor bugger lips, sat back in his seat, smiled and sayeth "Next time just ask Skin"
First time I ever met Perce was when I was at RMB Deal where I joined up. Perce was one of the storeman who issued us with our interim kit. The bugger gave me a pair of Owd Parade Boots instead of the standard DMS boots. The poxy things nearly killed me as they had no grip whatsoever and I later found out that Perce always did this to one member of a new recruit troop just to see the poor sod sliding all over the place.
Some bright spark thought it would be a good idea to put Perce in charge of the POL point (the place where you filled up with petrol, Deisel and oil) at Seaton Barracks where 40CDORM were at that time based. Now Perce was a creature of habit, as in he would open when he was ready and not before he had had a wet of char and started the Sun crossword puzzle. Along came an Army Land Rover with a Major driving it. Major Honks Horn and demands that Perce filled up his tanks. Perce looks up and says "Do it yerself, I'm busy" The Major went apeshit at this mere Marine telling him to do it himself and demands that Perce shifts his arse and does as he's told.........Oooops!
Perce walked up to the Land Rover sticks his head though the window and spoke to this Pongo Major. Pongo Major is off like shit from a shiney shovel in the direction of Dartmoor. The MT Tp Sgt Major plucked up the courage and asks Perce just what had he said to the Pongo Major. Perce it seems offered to do a complete MOT on the Major starting with Perce lubricating said Majors arsewhole with the first thing that came to hand, to wit a grease gun. A few days later Perce lost his job after various phonecalls from Irate Army officers. He wasn't charged but instead was sent to the QM's where he landed the cushiest job going, Bedding Storeman! The Three Badge Marines dream job!!
The last time I saw Perce was on his leaving the Corps runashore down Union Street in Plymouth. With him he had an accordion which he insisted on playing regardless off the location. You should have seen the Bouncers at Cascades trying to ask him to stop playing it as it was drowning out the Disco!! At the end of the runashore Perce bimbled over to me, looked at me long and hard and then handed over the accordion to me saying "Here you go Steve, treasure it Oppo" And I did right up until I myself left the Corps and in the time honoured tradition handed it over to another young Bootneck. For all I know it's still doing the rounds of the units to this day. Nice if it was.
Perce was one of many Corps Characters that I had the pleasure and honour of meeting during my time. They are now rare as hens teeth these days as the Three Badge Marine is a rarity within the Corps now. But back then there were still a fair few around and they were the mainstay of the Corps. All had seen action in various places and all were respected by the youngest marine right up to the CGRM.
Artist
