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Hi guys, a problem I need help with.

My girl friend who I have been with for almost 9 months now and who I love to bits has just received information that her father has testicular cancer, for the second time.

Truth be told I don’t really know what to do or say to comfort her. Like when she phoned me in tears to tell me I really didn’t know what to say and was silenced. I think I am one of the only people she can talk to as she doesn’t really get on with her mother and her sister is too young to understand.

I'm asking for advice because I really don’t want to say the wrong things as it may make it worse, if you get me?

ANY advice welcome.

Will

I don't believe there's much you can say at all.
Just be available to her as much as you can either in person or online/phone. Be mindful of her space as well, in terms of asking questions. Be present but no push, if that makes sense.

In addition to what Frank said, it wouldn't hurt to do a bit of research on the subject...if you haven't already. It will give you a better idea of what to expect from both the cancer and your girlfriend's emotional state. Some of the resource sites have forums that can help.

Julie

letsrole wrote:Hi guys, a problem I need help with.

My girl friend who I have been with for almost 9 months now and who I love to bits has just received information that her father has testicular cancer, for the second time.

Truth be told I don’t really know what to do or say to comfort her. Like when she phoned me in tears to tell me I really didn’t know what to say and was silenced. I think I am one of the only people she can talk to as she doesn’t really get on with her mother and her sister is too young to understand.

I'm asking for advice because I really don’t want to say the wrong things as it may make it worse, if you get me?

ANY advice welcome.

Will

Will

Sorry to hear that mate

Just be there for her if she wants to talk about it, guys tend to want to be superman and cure the world but sadly that's not always possible. Like Mrs F, says do some reading around the subject I would think in this day and age recovery rates have improved - Let's hope it's not secondary cancer etc.

Good luck

Will, i am going through similar with my dad with cancer at the moment, echo what has been said already, its much easier to deal with when you have people to talk to about it, doesnt matter if you dont say much, just be there, the guys in my grot have talked with me and made me feel better in shit times without saying much, if you need any help just send a pm

Nick

The lad upstairs got it 2yrs ago, he cracked initally but is now over it (I think). What can you do,just be there if he wants to talk.

Hi, I hear what you’re saying and thanks for all the advice. As far as I know its just in the testicle and hasn’t spread (good news) but it is his second time so not so good (he had the other one removed last time- about 8 years ago now). I did some research and found his chances are still over 80%, so I told her that and she was relived. Haven’t really got that many details but he has his operation next week.

Will