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New Virus

Posted: Wed 20 Mar, 2002 4:22 pm
by Shoulderholster
A new virus is on the loose,originating in the Devon area but believed to be at large in Ireland at this moment.
It starts as a spot on your willy!!!.
Any whiz kids have any ideas how to stop this from spreading, Norton and McAfee have proven ineffective against it. I have tried to install Durex x3.
Yorkie we need your help.
SH

Self help

Posted: Wed 20 Mar, 2002 7:14 pm
by Archie
This needs treatment at a hardware level. A vigorous cleaning of the offending item with a wire brush and some dettol ought to do it.

Posted: Wed 20 Mar, 2002 10:53 pm
by Defiant
wot about using a pan scruber and bleach

Posted: Thu 21 Mar, 2002 8:28 am
by Archie
I,m no doctor, but I think that method is used for Haemorrhoid :o s.

New Virus

Posted: Thu 21 Mar, 2002 9:39 am
by Shoulderholster
Defiant..I'll ask my pan scrubber and see what she says.
Not sure what to do with the bleach though?.

New Virus

Posted: Thu 21 Mar, 2002 9:40 am
by Shoulderholster
Defiant..I'll ask my pan scrubber and see what she says.
Not sure what to do with the bleach though?.

Posted: Thu 21 Mar, 2002 1:29 pm
by TaffBoz
Careful, that it does'nt go to far or you might find a use for one of those cocktail umbrella's.

Posted: Thu 21 Mar, 2002 1:43 pm
by Mutley
:D The use of a single-user trusted site is always strongly recommended, although there may be times when this is not accessible, or your permissions have been updated to deny access. There are some who will maintain an alternative site on standby, but this is an expensive practise. For most, if an alternative site is required, a single-user site should be sought. Although, due to in-built Command Codes and high demand, availability is often limited.

8) One option might be to seek out a site that was previously single-user, or restricted multi-user, and has recently been inactive. This sort of site is generally more likely to provide onsite help-desk support for any connectivity or time-out problems, as well as accepting any outdated techniques or slower performance criteria. Such sites tend to be cheaper to gain access and only infrequently require on-going support. Although these sites sometimes leave cookies that can be viewed by anyone accessing your system.

:-? Virus-free certification (especially self-certification) cannot be trusted and a virus cannot usually be detected visually. Accessing multi-user sites carries the highest risk; therefore in-date off-the-shelf balloon protection, obtained from a reputable source, should always be used before any input occurs. Wherever possible it is advisable to obtain a review by a previous user.

:wink: There may be circumstances when proprietary protection is not available and whilst not ideal the application of cat litter tray (as discussed in a previous message) may be used, but is not necessarily reliable.

:cry: Hardware friction sometimes mirrors this virus symptoms. Effective packages to prevent this are either, foreplay, or the more user friendly blowjob. However, foreplay can be reduced by the affects of alcohol, and some blowjob applications can delay hardware input. Applying a suitable lubricant can also quickly relieve hardware friction, but care should be taken not to overwork the lubricant in the external application environment.

:o There is a need to examine your software at regular intervals to ensure you are virus free. If you are unsure, it is advisable to use a Wang in a public place, as frequently as possible, whilst requesting a second opinion. Although caution needs to be observed as this could result in some firmware handling, or a bespoke tenderware application.

:x The virus cannot be removed by a blowjob application, although this may bring the user some relief. Where a virus has been detected, an umbrella should only be used as a last resort as this can have adverse effects on both your hardware and software performance.

:lol: Finally always remember that great French expression Pen il ew arts and you will continue dripping to the end!

New Virus

Posted: Sun 21 Apr, 2002 11:36 pm
by Mike
:o Did hear from an old Surgeon Lt on the Victory that the only way to deal with this sort of virus is to split it
(wot I dont know),from end to end and let the air get at it JR could probabley confirm this, My oppo, the Doc did say that once the infection had healed up it rearlly returned, something that MaAfee and Norton can not promise I think :roll:
AYE

Posted: Mon 22 Apr, 2002 9:53 am
by Yorkie Malone
Peeeeeeeeeeeees off

Not biting

Yorkies Spot

Posted: Mon 22 Apr, 2002 11:36 am
by Shoulderholster
Yorkie,youmight be biting but I bet your still scratching!!.
Re the new advertising campaign for a well known chocolate bar...."Yorkie its not for ladies" whats all that about then?.

Posted: Mon 22 Apr, 2002 10:32 pm
by owdun
Mutley,could you please repeat ,I've gone word blind.
Owdun

Posted: Mon 22 Apr, 2002 11:14 pm
by ratso
Thats how he got the spot someone tried to bite off a big chunk....
Are you practising for a trip to the southern Americas Yorkie Peeeeeeeeeees Off very mexican or is that just the sound it makes these days?