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I got this from my sister. It is pretty much what happens over Christmas!!

A CHRISTMAS POEM FOR OUR TIME!!

On the 1st. day of Christmas, my true love said to me
I’ve bought a big fresh turkey and a proper Christmas tree

On the 2nd. Day of Christmas, much laughter could be heard
As we tucked into our turkey - a most delicious bird!

On the 3rd. day of Christmas, came the people from next door
The turkey tasted just as good as it had done the day before.

On the 4th. day of Christmas, some wine and cheese was had.
We were bright and happy, the turkey a little sad!

On the 5th day of Christmas, outside the snowflakes scurried.
We were nice and warm inside. We had the turkey curried!

On the 6th. day of Christmas, the Christmas spirit died.
The children fought and bickered and we had the turkey fried.

On the 7th. day of Christmas my true love gave a wince,
When sitting at the table, he was given turkey mince.

On the 8th. day of Christmas, the dog had run for shelter,
He’d seen our turkey pancakes and the glass of Alka-Seltzer!

On the 9th. day of Christmas, by lunch time, Dad was blotto,
He knew the bird was back again, this time as a risotto!!

On the 10th. day of Christmas, we were drinking Dad’s homebrew.
As if that wasn’t bad enough - we were eating turkey stew!

On the 11th. day of Christmas, the Christmas tree was moulting,
With chilli, soy and oyster sauce, the turkey was revolting!!

On the 12th. day of Christmas, we had a smile upon our lips.
The guests had gone, the turkey too. We dined on fish and chips!!!

It sounds pretty much like Christmas to me!

Sneaky

Sneaks thats very good
I particularly like

On the 8th. day of Christmas, the dog had run for shelter,
He’d seen our turkey pancakes and the glass of Alka-Seltzer!

On the 13th day of Christmas I felt a grumble in my belly....
I rushed upto the toilet and left it very smelly.










coat

On the 14th day of Christmas the bog roll had all been used
So I slid naked down the bannister and now my arse is bruised.






2nd coat

I've locked the door behind you mate.
There is NO coming back after that one

On the 15th day of Christmas the bannister it was stained
So I hid in the shed and hoped to God the dog got blamed.











ahh Taxi for Doc!

Far too much spare time on your hands

Thanks for that Doc ya bazza!

*** Sticks carries out monitor and keyboard cleaning drills again***

Thats me sorted out your Crimbo prezzy for this year then Stix

Yes and ill provide the bog roll, dont want your banister getting it again!!

gone

Reminds me of an unfortunate incident this summer. Someone very helpfully unplugged the freezer in the garage prior to us going away for a long weekend. Nice hot day hot it was all w/e. Went in to get the mower when I got back and the smell was like a smack in the chops! I was gagging. Left the door open and let the place air out a bit. Then opened the chest freezer (gagging again) to find a whole pile of slimey goo that used to be meat, including the carcass of the turkey from seven months before (evidently part of the cunnig plan to make soup at some stage, but long since forgotten). It was unpleasant - as was cleaning the damned thing out! Not to self: Hard wire the freezer - no more plugs!

On the 16th day of Christmas the shed I did depart
I went to a hotel for some scran, and heard the Artist fart!


On the 17th day of Christmas the fart it still did linger,
I made a polite suggestion that involved my middle finger!







still waiting for the taxi

I'm glad you've got other things to be doing next week mate.
Don;t think I could suffer much more of this