Page 5 of 9
Posted: Sat 27 Sep, 2003 8:20 pm
by Artist
Asked this day. (honest, been waiting for this question for years)
Q. "Do you ever paint pictures in the nude?"
A. "No, it tends to upset people seeing me stark naked sat behind an easel in the middle of their town!"
Gen Buzz, no sh*t (made for a few laughs)
Artist
Posted: Sat 27 Sep, 2003 8:26 pm
by Andy O'Pray
No, it tends to upset people seeing me stark naked
I'll bet it does, especially with the grapes of wrath hanging there in all their glory.
Aye - Andy.
Posted: Sat 27 Sep, 2003 8:42 pm
by Artist
Andy
O'PRAY your bowels move in the right direction! COFF, COFF!
Artist
Posted: Sat 27 Sep, 2003 10:18 pm
by spitz
From the day it broke away from the British Empire the United States has been living in large measure under the protection of that empire, and in particular the British Fleet.
President Harry S Truman
Great retort when an Elmer uses ‘you’d all be speaking German or Russian . . . ‘
Anyone who isn’t confused here doesn’t really understand what’s going on.
Belfast man 1970
Posted: Sat 27 Sep, 2003 10:49 pm
by Wholley
Artist,
I wondered how long it would
be before for your chalfonts hi-jacked another thread.
Done with them yet?
Hope so.....
Wholley.
Posted: Mon 29 Sep, 2003 9:56 pm
by Jason The Argonaut
"Do not touch anything unnecessarily. Beware of pretty girls in dance halls and parks who may be spies, as well as bicycles, revolvers, uniforms, arms, dead horses, and men lying on roads, they are not there accidentally."
Soviet infantry manual, issued in the 1930's
Posted: Mon 29 Sep, 2003 10:25 pm
by mattt_h
from band of brothers ''flies spread disease so keep yours closed''
Posted: Mon 06 Oct, 2003 2:37 pm
by owdun
It aint the cough what carries you off,
It's the coffin they carries you off in.
Anon.
Owdun.
Posted: Mon 06 Oct, 2003 3:01 pm
by Artist
"What's a split pin?"
The words of a newly quailfied FFR driving Marine signaller after his trailer had parted company with the FFR and written off a brand new ford escort along Royal Parade Guz.
Artist
Posted: Mon 06 Oct, 2003 9:17 pm
by Jason The Argonaut
To accomplish great things we must not only act but also dream, not only plan but also believe. Author: Anatole
Posted: Wed 08 Oct, 2003 7:04 am
by Andy O'Pray
When answering questions about the naming of a CIA operative, President George W. Bush stated on 7 Oct. 03.
Everyone in this town leaks.
I certainly hope so Mr. President, at least once a day.
Aye - Andy.
Posted: Wed 08 Oct, 2003 8:30 am
by Rogue Chef
Ahoy there!
This may have been quoted in an earlier thread, but twenty odd years on it still makes me smile.
"By Land, By Sea, By Sunday Tea"
Royal Marines Reserve
Posted: Thu 09 Oct, 2003 12:00 am
by voodoo sprout
Just found this little lot in my Email
.
"Aim towards the Enemy."
-Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher
"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend."
-US Marine Corps
"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are
guaranteed to always hit the
ground."
- USAF Troop
"If the enemy is in range, so are you."
-Infantry Journal
"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you
least expect it. That would
make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."
-Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.
"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just
bombed."
-US Air Force Manual
"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo."
-Infantry Journal
"Tracers work both ways."
-US Army Ordnance
"Five-second fuses only last three seconds."
-Infantry Journal
"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."
-Col. David Hackworth
"If your attack is going too well, you're probably walking into an
ambush."
-Infantry Journal
"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."
-Joe Gay
"Any ship can be a minesweeper ... once."
-Anon
"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."
-Unknown Marine Corps Recruit
"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."
-Your Buddies
"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him."
-USAF Ammo Troop
Posted: Thu 09 Oct, 2003 2:09 am
by Mike
Quarter deck of a Grey Funnel tub, Clear lowerdecks…. Jimmy the one, standing on a hatch combing, shouts to the assembled ships company in all seriousness " Those at the back who can't hear.....Put your hands up" and to this day, the Pratt doesn’t know what he had said!
Posted: Thu 09 Oct, 2003 11:19 am
by ExCrabMate
Tannoy 1970s RAF Wittering:"Fire, Fire, Fire. There is a dog in the Fire Section ...Er, F**k, er..." Click.