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Posted: Tue 04 May, 2004 10:02 pm
by zero megahertz
"That skirt looks great on you, but it would look better on my bedroom floor"
"excuse me have you got any chewing gum?"
"No, but i wash my d!ck with peppermint shower gel!"
Posted: Fri 07 May, 2004 1:03 pm
by BigDanny
Worst - What has two thumbs up, speaks french and loves blowjobs?
(at this point stick ur thumbs up towards yourself and say "moi"
Best - F*ck me if im wrong, but is your name gurtrude?
Posted: Fri 07 May, 2004 1:33 pm
by RobT
I've heard my mate tell a nice looking female that he eats babies....
Didn't go down too well.
Posted: Fri 07 May, 2004 4:05 pm
by saffer
"Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk past again?"
"Bond, James Bond"
Scene 1 ...
"You must be really tired"
"what?"
"you must be tired because you have been running around in my drams all night!"
"F*CK OFF YOU LOSER"
"OK"
Scene 2....
See scene 1, different lady!
Repeat untill a drunken girl falls on your balls!
Posted: Fri 07 May, 2004 8:21 pm
by Scottish Thistle
F*ck me if im wrong, but is your name gurtrude?
Took me a second but I love it!
Hmmmm.
Posted: Fri 07 May, 2004 9:33 pm
by Kanadiana
My wife does understand me.
reply ... Oh, whats her phone number? Maybe I can mediate?"
Posted: Sun 09 May, 2004 1:47 pm
by Liver
How bout the old clasic - sit on my lap and well talk about the first thing that pops up?
Posted: Sun 09 May, 2004 2:14 pm
by AC
Try this one:
"The names Bond..." to which she will probably reply something along the lines of: "Let me guess, James Bond". Now, time to go in for the kill by saying: "Nope, Uni Bond, i'm here to fill your crack!"
oi oi oi
Posted: Tue 11 May, 2004 1:40 am
by Kanadiana
AC wrote:Try this one:
"The names Bond..." to which she will probably reply something along the lines of: "Let me guess, James Bond". Now, time to go in for the kill by saying: "Nope, Uni Bond, i'm here to fill your crack!"
ooooh thats really bad there bud
Posted: Tue 11 May, 2004 2:02 am
by Gary_amsterdam
oi oi oi again!
Posted: Tue 11 May, 2004 5:02 am
by Kanadiana
Posted: Tue 11 May, 2004 9:55 am
by Jon
"Girl, if God made anything finer than you I hoped he kept it for himself."
Posted: Fri 14 May, 2004 7:48 am
by Jagger
"Hi, is your name Gillette??"
-"No, why?"
"You're the best a man can get"
Posted: Tue 18 May, 2004 1:22 pm
by ono_doken
no word of a lie on this one (its absolutyly terrible!!!), around crimbo time we went out round sunny old halifax! we heads into this club called No.15 and by this time were trollied after taking the p1ss drinking champers all night (ahhh so many stories about that night hehe), anywayz this bird walks in (i say bird i actually mean munter eheh i'm not even sure it was human!!! hehe) thick south african accent so i walks up and go "Welcome to England" -unfortutnaly she liked it, i was too drunk to know what was going on............ to this day our kid and the other bouncers have not let me forget about it! hahahaha......
-hell even munters need loving too! hehehe ... but whys it always me thats so generous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
