Posted: Sat 26 Jun, 2004 4:11 pm
Lists. 
From Scotish Thistle`s Number three I`d venture that she ain`t a farkin people person
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Posted: Sat 26 Jun, 2004 4:19 pm
Agree Rob, apart from top tips, obviously.
From Scotish Thistle`s Number three I`d venture that she ain`t a farkin people person
From Scotish Thistle`s Number three I`d venture that she ain`t a farkin people person
Posted: Sat 26 Jun, 2004 5:06 pm
harry hackedoff wrote:From Scotish Thistle`s Number three I`d venture that she ain`t a farkin people person
Oh I do love people, just not those of the blue-haired "I remember when", public transport clogging, shopping in Littlewoods variety
You have my permission to put me down if I ever reach that stage
Posted: Sat 26 Jun, 2004 6:52 pm
Ahh the attack of the blue rinse brigade; Wednesday mornings in my previous work were spent hiding from them. Should you be cornered they would waste your time and complain for hours.
Posted: Sat 26 Jun, 2004 7:46 pm
Going on holiday to bulgaria for 2 weeks relaxtion with the girlfriend before starting basic training with the Royal Marines, then within 3 days she falls ill with a kidney infection. 
You then spend the next 9 days in a bulgarian hospital worrying about her as she is in severe pain and is wired up to god knows what machines. This is all whilst your running out of money ,arguing a toss with insurance companies! and sleeping in your clothes on a sticky hospital bed as they wont give you any sheets!! 
And every time you return to your hotel or go and get food for yourself your poor girlfriend is scared stiff of what is going to happen next. Phone calls are then made to worried parents and all this time you have to remain confident and chirpy for the parents sake and your girlfriends.
Then when your girlfriend is finally back to the hotel she develops diarrhoea and vomiting!!! You then spend your remaing days making sure she gets plenty of fluids down her and trying to get her to eat.
And you also start worrying whether the doctor is going let your girlfriend back home on your departure date, because your passport runs out in a couple of weeks! F***N HOOFING!! (i think not)
(This is all down whilst flapping about the bigggest challenge of your life coming up! LMAO)
So now im back home and my only worry is getting my phys back up to scratch after 2 weeks of doing nothing but worrying and sitting on your arse whilst getting about2/3 hrs sleep a night!
A truly S**TE holiday. (the most stressfull 2 weeks of my life)
Cheers Ian
You then spend the next 9 days in a bulgarian hospital worrying about her as she is in severe pain and is wired up to god knows what machines. This is all whilst your running out of money ,arguing a toss with insurance companies! and sleeping in your clothes on a sticky hospital bed as they wont give you any sheets!! And every time you return to your hotel or go and get food for yourself your poor girlfriend is scared stiff of what is going to happen next. Phone calls are then made to worried parents and all this time you have to remain confident and chirpy for the parents sake and your girlfriends.
Then when your girlfriend is finally back to the hotel she develops diarrhoea and vomiting!!!
You then spend your remaing days making sure she gets plenty of fluids down her and trying to get her to eat. And you also start worrying whether the doctor is going let your girlfriend back home on your departure date, because your passport runs out in a couple of weeks! F***N HOOFING!! (i think not)
(This is all down whilst flapping about the bigggest challenge of your life coming up! LMAO)
So now im back home and my only worry is getting my phys back up to scratch after 2 weeks of doing nothing but worrying and sitting on your arse whilst getting about2/3 hrs sleep a night!
A truly S**TE holiday. (the most stressfull 2 weeks of my life)
Cheers Ian
Posted: Sat 26 Jun, 2004 8:49 pm
Tch, Lose access to your puter for a few day's and they start hiding discreet message's of what not to do
[/quote]
5. People who shorten my son's name....(you know who you are )
[/quote]Posted: Sun 27 Jun, 2004 10:17 am
Posted: Sun 27 Jun, 2004 10:48 am
Scottish Thistle, well don't stop there tell us more.
Posted: Sun 27 Jun, 2004 8:01 pm
22. Hangovers.
Posted: Sun 27 Jun, 2004 10:53 pm
1. Osama bin Laden's countless declarations of jihad
2. Not being able to find a bottle opener
3. People using the edge of your table to open a bottle and leaving a scratch after failing to find a bottle opener
4. Realising that your mate has just used the bottle opener and has forgotten that he is still holding it
5. Being so pissed that you laugh at something for 10 minutes and then forget what you were laughing at
6. Trying to remember what you were laughing at through trial and error
7. Remembering what you were laughing at but, now sobre, realising that it wasnt funny at all and could have resulted in personal injury
8. Getting pissed the following night and laughing at exactly the same thing
9. While pissed carrying £13 in small change to the front door to pay the pizza delivary man, dropping it all on the way.
10. Picking it back up penny by penny then realising half of it is missing and is lying under the corner table, which has a glass vase laying on top.
11. Removing the vase to place safely on another table so that it doesnt fall when trying to reach for the money
12. Letting go of the vase half a meter short of the table
13. Having to count the small change to make sure you have it all
14. Realising that it is not the pizza man at the door but one of your mates
Annoying as hell.
2. Not being able to find a bottle opener
3. People using the edge of your table to open a bottle and leaving a scratch after failing to find a bottle opener
4. Realising that your mate has just used the bottle opener and has forgotten that he is still holding it
5. Being so pissed that you laugh at something for 10 minutes and then forget what you were laughing at
6. Trying to remember what you were laughing at through trial and error
7. Remembering what you were laughing at but, now sobre, realising that it wasnt funny at all and could have resulted in personal injury
8. Getting pissed the following night and laughing at exactly the same thing
9. While pissed carrying £13 in small change to the front door to pay the pizza delivary man, dropping it all on the way.
10. Picking it back up penny by penny then realising half of it is missing and is lying under the corner table, which has a glass vase laying on top.
11. Removing the vase to place safely on another table so that it doesnt fall when trying to reach for the money
12. Letting go of the vase half a meter short of the table
13. Having to count the small change to make sure you have it all
14. Realising that it is not the pizza man at the door but one of your mates
Annoying as hell.
Posted: Sun 27 Jun, 2004 11:27 pm
A packet of fags and no way to light them!!! 
Going to the bog having hit defcon 1 (imminent incummingggg) and there is no bog roll. You only notice this AFTER the bombing run has started.
Going to the bog having hit defcon 1 (imminent incummingggg) and there is no bog roll. You only notice this AFTER the bombing run has started.
Posted: Mon 28 Jun, 2004 1:34 am
People that pronounce H 'hache'
Blue lights on the washer jets of cars
Video tape packaging
That advert with Michael Winner
People who insist they've contracted flu when all they've got is a cold
Blue lights on the washer jets of cars
Video tape packaging
That advert with Michael Winner
People who insist they've contracted flu when all they've got is a cold
Posted: Mon 28 Jun, 2004 7:56 am
23. That bloody advert with Michael Winner.
Posted: Mon 28 Jun, 2004 8:36 am
Large groups of guests walking into the hotel 5 minutes after you've closed the bar because it's 0200 on Sunday night and the hotel's practically empty, and then staying in there drinking until after the aircrew start coming down for breakfast. And then finding out that half of them weren't even residents.
Posted: Wed 30 Jun, 2004 12:31 pm
24. Ocean Finance commercials.
Why O why do they have the most ugly people in the U.K. on these ads?
To qualify for a loan the applicant must have to have a face like a bulldog licking p1ss off a nettle.
Gore.
Why O why do they have the most ugly people in the U.K. on these ads?
To qualify for a loan the applicant must have to have a face like a bulldog licking p1ss off a nettle.
Gore.