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Was told a story by my father. The CO of an Assault Ship had conducted a number of highly successful amphibious excercises with the bootnecks and had built up a good working relationship with them. As he was due to relinquish command of his ship, the RM detachment presented him with a plaque and a green beret as a way of saying thanks............

.......... Sometime later the CO found himself in charge of a shore establishment and was expecting a visit from CGRM.

Can anyone guess what beret he wore to meet CGRM?

Needless to say he never wore it again!

He he he, "WHAT THE FARK HAVE YOU GOT ON YOUR HEAD?"

"Sorry sir, it was a present"

"PRESENT? PRESENT? I SUGGEST YOU PRESENT YOURSELF WITH THE CORRECT ATTIRE BEFORE MY SIZE 10 KICKS YOUR TONSILS VIA YOUR ARSE!!!!"

Or something like that. Knowing the Booties it would have been more like

"Can I have a quiet word?"

"Yes Sir"

"Quick tip. Remove the lid before I remove your face, theres a good chap"