Sarcastic ways of stating the bleedin obvious

Artist · Post by **Artist** » Wed 26 Mar, 2003 12:52 am

Do you f**k?
No, but you've talked me into it you smooth talking Bas*ard!

My wife understands me!!

Go on then, just the one.

It wasn't me!!

What me?

It was him I tell yer!!

I'll buy the next round.

Wibble wobble weeeee!

Aye steve evans

Andy O'Pray · Post by **Andy O'Pray** » Wed 26 Mar, 2003 3:26 am

As popular as a ham sandwich in a synagogue.

Aye - Andy.

qcnr · Post by **qcnr** » Wed 26 Mar, 2003 7:46 am

"No sh1t, Sherlock" (Holmes)

Jim T · Post by **Jim T** » Wed 26 Mar, 2003 11:10 am

Doesn't take the brains of and Arch Bishop! (normally followed by "You thick twat")

Jim T

Jim T · Post by **Jim T** » Wed 26 Mar, 2003 11:13 am

Bloody hell! just noticed! I only need to submit 16 more posts and I get an extra round for me mag! I'll have to carry on with instantly sending the dross which pops into me head throughout the day!

Jim T

Sea Soldier · Post by **Sea Soldier** » Wed 26 Mar, 2003 7:57 pm

So & so has ... more "front" than Blackpool

So & so has ... more faces than a Box of Kippers

Such & such ... sticks out like a Racing Dogs' B******s

m4tt · Post by **m4tt** » Wed 26 Mar, 2003 8:04 pm

Count

There are millions of girls in the world, there is only one Royal Marines

nuff said

North Sea Tigress · Post by **North Sea Tigress** » Thu 27 Mar, 2003 2:48 am

If brains were Windolene, he wouldn't have enough to clean the starboard eyepiece of a squirrels AGR!!

harry hackedoff · Post by **harry hackedoff** » Thu 27 Mar, 2003 6:19 am

As much use as tits on a goldfish
As popular as a fart in a spaceship.
As popular as an air raid.
You`ve got me confused with someone who gives a shit, & Is this the face of someone who gives a shit?
Muscles like Garth`s wa^&ing hand (today that would be Arnie`s wa^%ing hand)
Nice bloke, till he had the charisma by-pass operation.

wilson · Post by **wilson** » Thu 27 Mar, 2003 9:57 am

"She's held more balls than Bruce Grobbler"
"She's seen more Helmet's than Hitler"
"Face like a smaked Ar*e on a frosty morning"
"Face like a Bulldog chewing a wasp"
"Seen more meat on a Butchers pencil"
"Seen more muscles on a piece of string"
"Smells like an Arab's armpit in the afternoon sun"
"Her face looked as dry as Ghandi's flip flop"
"As usefull as a chocolate tea-pot"
"As usefull as sunglasses on a man with one ear"

And frustration is... A one armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy ba*ls!

Aye,
wilson

JulesB · Post by **JulesB** » Thu 27 Mar, 2003 2:08 pm

'Ooooh he's as camp as a row of tents!'

El Prez · Post by **El Prez** » Thu 27 Mar, 2003 4:45 pm

(Bad weather favourite when carrying senior bods) You can sit in the front Sir, but we'll get lost, or my gunner can sit in the front and we'll get home tonight.

exvmremf · Post by **exvmremf** » Thu 27 Mar, 2003 6:31 pm

She's got a face like a wasp chewing a bulldog.

bootneck · Post by **bootneck** » Thu 27 Mar, 2003 6:41 pm

If brains were dynamite you wouldn`t have enought to blow a milk bottle top off

Have you got a match? not since errol flynn died

Charlie · Post by **Charlie** » Thu 27 Mar, 2003 10:02 pm

"I'll see you tomorrow chaps"

"Hope not, but thanks for the warning!"

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