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....." I can only do ten pressups, and why arent there portaloos on the bottom field "

J moved forward under the cover of trained marksmen, to recieve the Walts surrender. Placky cuffed with heads bowed and sobing relentlessly, they were moved to a holding area to be fed and watered. The Vets cleared their weapons and coughed up their lungs as HH bollocked H_N for trying to keep a spent cartridge cunningly hidden up his arse, how HH found it remains a mystery even to this day, which is errr the day after as it happens.

Returning to their respective units, the rollcall of honour for gongs and chocolate hobknobs read as thus.............

In fact, the spent cartridge would have remained secreted up H_N's rear end ad infinitum had he not stripped off to do his warm-down stretches, though why anyone would choose to be close enough to his rump to spot the offending item in its hidey-hole is a total mystery. A vote was taken to decide which of the chaps would remove it and ......

......at this point H_N nicked Doc for inserting the offending item while H_N squatted for a tactical download whilst stripping and cleaning his weapon at the same time as supervising the reorg and helping Tab repack his chute and helping Sneaky top up the rebreathers! Doc was elated as once more he was wearing cuffs and being ordered around by rough men! Just then J had Sticky blow his horn to assemble the Vets who cheered heartily until J bade them be silent. He mounted the bonnet of the battle scarred ArtMobile to address the throng........"Oi you lot Farkin listen in!!!.........

... I would like to make an announcement. J stands up and says right fall in chaps and take a moment to read this please peeps - viewtopic.php?t=11603 - thanks for your attention. You can now fall out and attend your duties as normal.
While J gets off his high horse...

...and climbs off the bonnet of the battle scarred ArtMobile. He approaches Doc and says... "Oi, take your meds and calm down son, are you ready to continue the journey?". As J walks back to the hole he climbed out off, N_H takes Doc by the hand and...

gives him six inches in the behind. Now, for someone not trained to give injections, that is very dangerous. Much to Doc's annoyance H_N slipped the huge needle in as Doc exclaimed...

..."I'm only out of date for polio and thats three drops under the tongue!! "
Limping back to the FRV, Doc rubbing his left buttock and H_N nursing a cut lip and swollen eye, Sticky was seen rolling around on the deck with soiled trousers and sore ribcage. As he struggled to his feet, horn in hand and a little drummer boy running for the tree line, Sticks shouted out to the amassed ranks...............

...................We won! We won! I'm so happy and full of gay abandon! Would anyone care for a toot on my horn!" Just at that moment a passing Reggie spied Stix and told him to get those kip mats off his arms and pull his trousers back up! As stix was led away the rest of the Vet Force proceeded towards..............

......the bar for beer and medals. Endex humbug

About feckin time if you ask me!

Well its three pages and I was only in the bath on page 1

go back to the handcuffs - they intruiged me, how exactly do you get handcuffs to match a pink cowboy hat and boots? whatever you could do, they would clash horribly - or so I've been told.... (shifty eyes)

your not taking your meds as prescribed are you?

no - they clash with my cowboy hat.