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SO, who`s supplying the Pit Pony for the 30 miler??
does anyone know the whereabouts of the afore mentioned,"LADY"?

lol , I hope you did burn it , I have this image of some matteress shaped , drink, swearin, farting thing living in a cave in Malta dripping (urr) non stop. abducting the odd jenny wren for the weekend . like some horrible dolly the sheep gone wrong. ( right double dose of my tablets to night I think )

Lee

I only got married to save me having a five fingered shuffle

No wonder Sponge bob looks so screwed up on telly he is that mattress.

How many bloody women have there been that have serviced Royal, some must have come close to setting world bloody records.

The best chat up line I ever heard was in "Cascades" (Royal Marine school of dancing) although to be honest it werent really a chat up line.

P*ssed up Bootneck to 'Lady of the night'

"What do you do in your spare time love, cross yer legs?"


aye steve evans

So who the hell is granny lympstone?????

Just been in for me 30 miler hairdo and the barber, John, working on the old boy next to me was totally embarrassed by the young lady working on my nut who related the tale about Saturday evening. John was encouraged onto the stage at a lock in. He was stripped starkers by the 'lady', covered in oily stuff and 'massaged', then to the amusement of his oppos he was tied to the table, compliantly, because he thought it would be fun. It was only when she lit a candle and started pouring hot wax on his genitals that he realised how the evening was turning into his worst nightmare.
He was discovered cowering in the gents at 0230 trying desperately to scrape solid wax from his pubic hair, and cover up his burns. Reports from the wife have yet to be received.

Oh where's that pub . Funny I have just done my 30 miler hair cut, being Mr Baldy, I decided enough was enough and shaved the lot off for medical reasons. I now look like one of those dummy Dinosaur eggs from the film Jurassic Park.

So I am not off topic. I can,t give a chat up line being a Plums rating,, had to make do with jennies. ( standingby to duck from not so friendly fire)

Lee

Talking about "Naked Bars", I was running the Cpl and Mnes bar in Norway and had employed several female augmentees as bar staff.

One weekend, one of the Troops came back in after 11 days in the field and decided to "get naked" in the bar. There were over sixty b*ll*ck naked bootnecks dancing on the tables and swinging from the rafters.

One of my staff, a big black girl, came out the back where I was changing a barrel.

"Too much for you?", I said.

"No" she replied, "all those naked men and not one of them worth a f**k!"

Well, what more can I say.

Pound to a penny the wax laden herbert were you Mr parry!

aye steve evans

And they say the age of romance is dead, Bootneck
Mills and Boon doesn`t compare mate
Aye,

PS what happens to all the phots taken on such occasions?

Mine got £200 and 14 days at HM/Jacks pleasure for getting naked in a Norsk nightclub apparently!

So he tells me.....