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Posted: Mon 28 Nov, 2005 1:42 pm
by Jock Monahan
Dear Aunty Mike,
my Siamese twin is gay and wants to get closer to me.
What should I do as I have led a sheltered life and dont
want to offend him.
P.S. he wasnt like this when we were kids growing up on the Island
amongst all the wee sheeps.-
Posted: Mon 28 Nov, 2005 3:31 pm
by Mike
My word, Two Squaddies in the same day and I’ve not see either of them for 42 years, My how that bond has worked over that time.
Monahan.....It has taken you a long time to wend you pervy way to my grot,
As for your problem… you don’t say how and where you are co-joined. So I shall have to take a broad stab at your problem. If your brother is joined on your rear I suggest that you take it like a man.
Otherwise and the only other option is to endeavour to freeze the bastard in all that snow you are having in British Colombia right now, At lease it would slow down his ardour down……..Sorry I and cant be of much more help….
Aye
Aunty M
NEXT !!!!! 
Posted: Mon 28 Nov, 2005 3:51 pm
by Artist
Mike wrote:I shall have to take a broad stab at your problem.
Mike thats what he trying to avoid!
I don't know.............bloody agony aunt my
Arse!
Dear Aunty Mike. Every time I go to he Heads I get this urge to drop me keggs and have a dump. Fine and Dandy iffen its a sit down jobby but is it normal when using a Urinal????
Artist
Posted: Mon 28 Nov, 2005 4:22 pm
by Doc
SO IT WAS YOU in the Cheshire Cheese Public House and Family Eatery!!!!!!!!!
Bloody thing was smiling at me as it steamed away in the middle urinal, not a problem thought I ..................until it asked me the time!
Posted: Mon 28 Nov, 2005 4:39 pm
by Mike
Dear Artist.... Thank you for your kind input.....
There is a little known fact that Sir Thomas Crapper actualy designed the, what we now know as the male's Pedistal Urinal, for the female of the species.
However the women of the Victoria era did not enjoy sitting in a row while deficating, farting and urinating, so Crapper redesigned the prototype and added a mesh at the out flow so that Fag-ends and chewing gum would not be flushed away (allowing the items to be dried, washed and used a agin).
Aye
Aunty M
Doc... It is well known that said Artist's Turds can weigh in at around the 7lb 5oz mak, however I have never heard of them asking the time...Just goes to show that the influance of a good woman will do to a chap