Provost Officer

[Rob B]

There is always the P&SS of course

We had that lot visit us at St Athan in the early 90's. Basically we had a young LAC on the ramp in Supply who was helping himself to whatever he fancied that was coming in to the Clothing Store. Not being the brightest of young men he then wore his 'contraband' to work. Obviously even the Plod didn't take long to realise that the culprit just might be the chap wearing the aviator sunglasses, flying boots and cold weather flying clothing.

Anyway it was all so exciting that the Rudloe Manor gang pitched up to have a look. Two of them turned up in 'civvies' (you know matching blue blazers, chinos and RAFP tie ) and we all had a few minutes 'chat' with them. The rigorous questioning went along these lines....

Plod - "Right, we know you're nicking stuff so just own up to it now or it will be the worst for you."

Me - "No I'm not."

Plod - "Oh alright then, off you go."


And that was that. SO if that's the highlight of being RAF Plod then I'd look elsewhere.

Mind you joining the Army is going a little bit far , though they do have Tamzin Outhwaite going for them I suppose

Rob B

[macster]

All this talk of scuffers takes me back to a little incident back when I was doing my trade training at Locking.
I was on station guard - nights. The set-up was (in the glory days of DPM with blue shirts and blue jumpers), was a load of recruits to be unarmed gate lifters with armed JNCO’s. There was also a couple of scuffers taking turns to do mobile patrol as part of each shift.

I think we started on a Thursday and to be honest we noticed straight away that one of scuffers didn’t say a word to any on us, were as the other (who was an LAC just out of training) was very chatty.

I think it was Saturday night, the chatty copper volunteers to go down to the chinky to get everyone some scoff. Champion ! The guard commander is taking all the orders, everyones chipping in. All bar the stroppy scuffer, who just starts claiming all the spare butty box's.

All of the off-duty crew and the stroppy scuffer are sat there as the Sgt puts the chatty scuffers 9mm back in the Armoury, as he is going off base blah blah.

No issue; great scoff. Finish the shift. Getting some zzzz until about midday, when half of the station police section come into the guard block. They are giving it "you all have 15 mins to report to the Police section" like we have robbed the crown jewels.

We then get there and each of us is pulled in to be interviewed as to what happened the night before. I had to run through what I had to eat ?, did I finish it ?, were had I disposed of the rubbish ? There was at this time a team of scuffers going through the bins as all of this was going on.

What happened was – the stroppy scuffer stayed up until 9am, went round to his Sgt’s house and reported the chatty scuffer for going down to the chinky with his loaded weapon on him. All that after seeing the Guard Commander put it in to the Armoury. But the GC hadn’t signed it in had he !
So matey has clocked this and hatched his plan to stitch his colleague up. The result of all was, that a full court martial was carried out (what a waste of money !), GC Sgt was given a severe reprimand, a months fine and told he would not be promoted or signed on for 22. Now he was a General Duties bloke and his prospects outside wouldn’t of been the greatest – bloke is well finished.

The chatty scuffer was told that he would never be promoted above SAC –career finished ! Im trying to remember but I think that the grass also got done for failing to report it straight away – so he ended up in the crap aswell !

What sort of people are they ? You wouldn’t do that to your worst enemy. If he had an issue he should of just said at the time. I learnt a lot from that at an early age – never trust a scuffer !

I also heard about a RAFP Sgt at High Wycombe, who tried to charge himself for being late ! But they couln’t figure out the paper work apparently so it go dropped.

As for special forces !! anyone who can spell “Hereford” considers themselves to be SF in the RAF nowadays.

And another thing – the scuffers in the Gulf were a disgrace, they used to wear more badges on their uniform than a Girl Guide. I saw a number of Jock one’s with a St. Andrew cross instead of a UJ on their arm. What is that all about ? Might still go on, don’t know?

Rant over!

[goldie ex rmp]

ah yes but thats in the RAF...........the RMP are all sweetness and light..............we would have bought you an ice lolly to go with your chinky for pudding...........

[Rob B]

I had just been posted in to Wyton and had to wait a few months for a quarter so had arranged to get a room in the same block as the rest of the lads on the squadron.

Anyway I turn up at the guardroom bang on time to be met by some spotty plod who started giving me grief for not being in uniform. Quite a little crowd had gathered (including his Sgt) so I let him rant on. Anyway he was just asking me for my 1250 when I pointed out that travelling all the way from my previous camp in uniform was a security risk as per SSO's (or something or other, I forget now but I had the paperwork to prove it with me). Cue embarrassed red face for spotty plod, same for his Sgt and giggles from everyone else

The bad news was that there was no room at the inn for me so the Plod Sgt asked me if I minded going in his block (unfortunately full of spotty plods and people in transit). Since there wasn't any choice I asked for the penthouse suite with a view, which I got obviously

To be honest it wasn't too bad but I made sure I put an extra padlock on my kit!


Now then, who wants to hear about Plod zobs ???

Rob B

[JackFrost]

,"BARRIER UP! BARRIER DOWN", "ID CARD PLEASE ,SIR", Im sure this is not the case in the light of day and im sure they have many specialist tasks but it is said amongst us redcaps that a senior rank RAFP has about as much skill at police work as a very junior RMP NCO in BAOR. i never nicked anyone for anything that i would do or have done and im quite proud of that fact.

You obviously do not know anything and are just jumping on the bandwagon.
As for you never nicking someone for what you have done, then i take it not many crims were dealt with by yourself. How can you be proud of not nicking someone just because you did it before you joined the RMP.

Now you have all brought up stories about us, how about this one, my brother, who is neither in the army or airforce lives near to an army base in chatham. The base is on exercise on this certain day and as it happens my brothers car breaks down and he has to walk past the base. Having short hair, he was picked up by the RMP, arrested by them for being awol from the excercise and taken to the guardroom. A shouting match ensued and a red faced red cap was forced to release him from arrest as he was a civvy,
we all have our f@#k,
but the majority are ok just like the RMP

[aes69]

What a bunch of absolute tossers!!

Every trade has it's fair share, but jeez, it seems as tho' most of you are here!

Let's take a look at the brian box trades posting on here.

RMP - losing coach loads of squaddies whilst on close convoy support duties during TELIC, they only had to stay behind the rear vehicle, stay awake lads!

SIB WO1 ordering RAFP to use RMP forms which had been replaced 2 years previous by a tri service document, clever, oops case thrown out of court.

RMP signallers deciding to change certain codes 3 hours before the rest of the battle group because they couldn't work ZULU times out (on several occassions)

I think you'll find junior RAF Police NCO's have been re-writing & correcting RMP paperwork that has been blundered at our JOINT units. Bless the RMP, they make us look good.

RAF Regt mounting a rapier missile in the crew room as a trophy, then causing a unit wide evacuation because during a CO's inspection the SWO can see the bloody thing is LIVE.

Allowing trumpton into an 814 site during an exercise, getting so excited at using their superior military skills, they left both sets of gates open.

Bishops Court, 1989, young rock ape hands his pistol over to the on-coming rock in the JOC, & puts a round the computer. SNCO rock ape vaults the desk, rips the pistol out of his hands and puts a second round thru the computer.

The lists are endless, we have lots of good ones about our trade too. But then we're an easy target.

Oh and by the way, during Op TELIC, I can name every RAFP NCO & officer in theatre, and none were wearing St Andrews patches or any other wing patch that hadn't had been MoD approved.

Good thread tho' folks, keep up the good work. There's plenty more in the tanks if anyone wants to keep this up.

[Guest]

i dont get the attraction of being any sort of police in the military can someone please me some pros

[Hostage_Negotiator]

I had posted long and loud on this one but decided to delete it as these nobbers are not worth the effort. I think my colleague above (aes69) has pretty much said it! There have been some right muppets on here of late who think they know better than everybody else, I'm not going to start naming and shaming but you tossers know who you are! As for the likes of goldie grow the F*&^k up how long were you in ? Not long by the sound of it, you sound like a jealous kid!

The thing that people should bear in mind is that 99% of the drill bits slagging off the RAFP have probably come to our attention for something they've done! (probably something illegal) the other 1% are the arseholes who jump on the bandwagon!

I've no doubt some of you will take offence at this but if you recognise yourself as one of those drill bits or arseholes! tough, live with it or change your Farking attitudes!!


Sticky: apologies for the time your going to have to spend editing this but fark the lot of them I'm seriously considering jacking this forum as there seems to be an abundance of tossers about at the minute!

[rockapemk1]

Oddly enough I was at said RAF base last night for a meeting then dropped by the NAAFI afterwards and bumped into the RAFP who gave me a hard time last time I was on the station. He recognised me and we had a brief chat and he actually seemed like a decent bloke, he explained that that cadets that are parented by the station had bee n causing trouble nicking road signs etc off the base that's why he was giving the cadet a hard time. Fair play the guy was doing his job, alot of respect for the guy now as he didn't have to explain himself to me but he took the time too, which was nice.

[done-my-9]

H_N have a look at the dates of the posts, this thread was made last year, and Jackfrost obviously found it and decided to reply, which is why its at the top of the pile again

anyway, those same "tossers" dont seem to be sayin so much now theres a shift of coppers joined up, i guess they been put in thier place

anyway you cant leave, gooner greencheeses mom will miss u too much

[Hostage_Negotiator]

Yeh, thanks mate just noticed the thing about the dates, sorry I saw the posts and instant flash= oh' shazbat H_N's off on one 'again'
As for the Green Avenger's mom! I never touched her your honour!

[NIWorker]

HN Please dont leave me alone with all these non coppers!!

[aes69]

ahh silence, lovely.

[sittingstress]

TJD - make that 6 cos I am back again!!

Regards to all

ss