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Army life and a girl friend/fiance

General discussions on joining & training in the British Army.
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agapito
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#16 Post by agapito »

thanks for your reply, and my heart feels sad because i know we will end up breaking up, she said "i want a partner to love and comfort her not see her on weekends"

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calvin-fassam
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#17 Post by calvin-fassam »

ouch ....... she will miss you though it will be tougher than she thinks keep her as a friend an she will prob end up to be a f#*k buddy then you have the chance for it again later but the upside is you can now check out loads of birds and put urself about a bit. :D trust me make the most of it!

anna1

#18 Post by anna1 »

Sorry but couldn't help but comment, my ex-boyfriend is in the Army and we just broke up about three months ago (and now I'm dead set on a military career). He did two tours of Afghanistan whilst we were together and we met at really bad timing when I was just about to go off and travel Australia for 8 months!!
But just wanted to say that (although we didn't work out) if you love each other and especially because you have been together prior to joining up for a decent amount of time then I think you would have a good chance of it working out. You should at least try it (if that's what you both want) you might be surprised at how well it can work! I was always surprised when we were together about how much leave he had and (apart from when he was away on tour) he did manage to come back home most weekends.

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adamb
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#19 Post by adamb »

Your not going to not see her for a whole 6 months, after 4 weeks she can come visit on the parents day and you get 2 weeks off somewhere in training. Also i read on another forum after week 6 you get most weekends off? <-- can anyone vouch for that who has gone/is going through ITC?

Also ive been with my girlfriend 2 years and i start ITC in Feb so i know what you mean. Try sitting down with her and just speaking about everything, if its meant to be it will work try not to worry. Just re-assure her, tell her you will write her letters and ring her whenever you get time.
I dont know about your situation but as soon as i got with my girlfriend i said i wanted to be in the forces so shes gotten used to the idea as its just built up and now its come its easier for us. Just trust what everyone says here and please do not not go in the army because she doesn't want you too or she threatens you because please trust me you will hold that grudge and not knowingly be different with her and that will most likely effect the relationship anyway. Just try and chat with her, best way :D

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#20 Post by jstagg »

AdamB, son of a preacher man.


AdamBs right agapito, I've said and done the same to my Girlfriend of nearly 6-7years'Ish (shh don't tell her shell go mad that i dont know BANG on the date)


My girlfriend saw this as an opportunity to start her life when I'm gone too, get her self sorted and be independent and not rely on my cash flow :P.



The only problem i got is now and again i get stupid thoughts off her going off and doing the dirty i know she won't its just niggling in the back of my mind but hey, it happens it happens lol if it does i'll be doing as calvin-fassam said.
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agapito
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#21 Post by agapito »

You alright mate i made this post in may, I've now completed training. While i was in training i was given the choice of leave the army or she'll leave me...owell life goes on. I now have a nice fiesta and money.

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#22 Post by jstagg »

Ah swish, shame on adamb digging up old posts lol, how was training? Get most weekends off now?

Couldn't answer a question for me could you, when you start ITC (if that's where you went) did you get issued x2 carry all bags? (it's a debate me and other people are having in another post.)
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agapito
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#23 Post by agapito »

I didn't go ITC mate, i was based at pirbright surrey and now at larkhill 7 Para Rha so i couldn't answer your question mate.

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#24 Post by jstagg »

no worries fella' i forgive you lol
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#25 Post by adamb »

Royal Artillery was my second choice but fortunately i got my 1st, I read the job breifs etc though, 14 weeks at pirbright then 12 at larkhill ? or vice versa, is it the Royal Artillery you spend a week in Aldershot or is that the RLC?

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#26 Post by agapito »

I havn't done any training in aldershot so far so no idea mate.

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#27 Post by gt1980 »

I konw this is an old post, but i thought i'd share my words of wisdom for the purpose of anyone else in this position just like i am now. :-?

Truth is i applied for army back in 1999 didn't get through medical cos of apparent heart murmur, which a lot of people have but don't actually have, like me, i don't have after seeing a specialist.
But not long after that I left the job that i hated and started a new which is where I met the girl thats is now my wife, so yes we have been together for quite a while and married for just over a year and if you're wondering I am 28.
A few years ago we were engaged and i wanted to join the marines but she wasn't a big fan for reasons that I fully understand, but she didn't have many reservations on the idea of the army. but again it didn't happen.
Now i am at a point in my life that have to cease the opportunity of the change in direction, both our lives are to put it bluntly 'uneventful'. So i am wanting to join up again.
We have discussed this in length, and the fact we are married then we can get married quarters, so the only time apart would be for the first half of basic training.
My advise is that if you are planning to propose to that wonderful woman in your life then do it, then join up, work hard in your training and in your relationship, then as soon as you can get married , then you get your married quarters, plus if you propose before you leave for the army she'll probably less likely to stray as you've made that extra commitment.

Hope this sort of helps or puts some minds at rest, but hey I still aren't sure what to do but I have still booked in for my BARB test just in case :wink:

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#28 Post by Dawber »

in my opinion i dont think its very fair to get a girl to marry you and then once thats done you just go off to the army i doubt she would be too impressed i think you should just be straight from the off and see what happens and if it all goes wrong then just stay friends because as people say "theres plenty more fish in the sea" lmao

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#29 Post by jstagg »

I've had a long lengthy discussion with my girlfriend about this type of subject, ive been with my girl for around 4-5yrs and we came to the conclusion of what ever happens happens, she said anything and everything could happen but for you to give up a dream because you think something might not work between us is the biggest cheat you could inflict upon some one.. (she has a way with words)

To be honest you shouldn't worry about it.. work on work out and see what happens.. best of luck to you.

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#30 Post by adamb »

I agree with dawber, its a bad idea to propose then go away in the army. If you have a stable relationship then it will work, if it doesn't it isnt meant to be. Me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 years and like jstagg did with his i did with mine.

I think it would be best to get training over and then if everythings still going excellent, propose to her.That way you will have a secure job, regular money, a place to live. Im going to propose to my girlfriend at my passing out parade because to me its the best oppertunity to propose, family & friends everywhere (so that way she cant say no) lol im only kidding but im really serious about proposing.

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