TV Programme "Secret Millionaire"

[Artist]

Saw that the TV Prog Secret Millionaire was going to be on again so I hatched a "Cunnning Plan" as in I have been nice to everyone (well almost everyone) I've met over these last few weeks. Are they secret millionaires? Are they Bollox!

Most are worse off than me and have even taken to asking me to buy them the odd wet. Last Twonk to try and make friends got told to Go Away In Short, Sharp, Jerky Erotic Movements unless they had a cheque in their back pocket for half a million quid in which case I would let them sleep in our back garden in me tent at hardly any cost.

Kin give up! Back to being Mr Noughty again! So sod off Green Ronnie, Tab, Wholley, Owdun, Sneaky Beaky and the rest of you buggers unless you have that magic cheque in your sweaty little palm for Ickle me!

Artist

P.S. Don't tell Jayne.....Please!

[Greenronnie]

Such a pleasant guy!

You had your grapes sorted yet then??

[Artist]

Such a pleasant guy!

You had your grapes sorted yet then??

Me "Chalfonts" went up the North Staff Hospitals chimney yonks ago Oppo. As it was I asked if they could give them to me so I could torture them like they tortured me over all those long unpleasant years of neat pain and blood soaked Shreddies. But the Doc who removed them questioned why I would want them.

I pointed out to the bod that they were mine, I'd nurtured them from their infancy to full fruition and wanted revenge on the nasty little bleeders. But to no avail. WHOOOOMPH! they went up the Chimney. BAZZARDS THAT THEY WERE!

Artist

[owdun]

These farkin sprog members gits on me tits,come on 'ere and slag of us gentlemen,and think they can get orf wiv it.Fark orf,Artist,and she will find out,they always do.



Owdun

[Artist]

Owdun

Do you remember this picture?



I was the young lad stood in front of you at the time. People you don't want to know where he had his left hand you really don't! Lets just say it was a few weeks later that my problems wiff me Chalfonts first kicked off!

Anyone seen me coat then?

Artist

[Beast]

Are they secret millionaires? Are they Bollox!

Yes... don't live the luxry lifestyle for nothing you know...




I Wish!




On a serious note, I assosiate with a couple of millionaires which i know pretty well as good friends but i have to say...

They are more tight than a ducks backside when it comes to money mate!
One of em still drives around in a old clapped out 20 year old rover and shops at Co-Op an hour before it closes to snatch up all the reduced produce!
Not forgetting that they always dress in old worn clothes and walk everywhere, not even use the car or public transport unless they really have to.
Makes moi laff at times.

[Greenronnie]

Me "Chalfonts" went up the North Staff Hospitals chimney yonks ago Oppo.

Are you sure mate? You look like you're squeezing one in your profile pic there!

[Wholley]

I have a twenty year old XJS and I shop at Tesco late at night to pick up the out of sell by date produce.
I guess that makes me a millionare by your standards Beast
BTW,I agree entirely with Owdun.
These young whipper-snappers coming on here with two posts and insulting the established membership.Whatever next?Bootnecks posting here again I suppose.Tut

[Beast]

I have a twenty year old XJS and I shop at Tesco late at night to pick up the out of sell by date produce.
I guess that makes me a millionare by your standards Beast

To be honest Wholley don't blame you, i do the same at times with the price increases in the supermarket!