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RAF relationship

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Rainbowred83
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RAF relationship

#1 Post by Rainbowred83 »

Hey guys,

I have been in a relationship with a man for 1 and a half years, within those years hes been deployed quite a few times. Hes lied to me a lot in regards what he does whilst being in countries of deployment. Yes i know why am i still with him? Hell knows. But i need to ask something as its really bugging me. Hes been in iraq for a month now, and he literally works from 8 till sometimes 2 am in the morning and comes in a few times in his living quarters to send me a message as there is no wifi internet connection around base. Is this true? Are they allowed to drink there too? As he says they arent but he drinks a lot so i dont know how the hell hes going to cope for the next few months. I dont know what is truth and what isnt anymore.

Please help. Im at the end of my tether.

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Rainbowred83
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Re: RAF relationship

#2 Post by Rainbowred83 »

Anyone?

Beast
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Re: RAF relationship

#3 Post by Beast »

Hi,

Sorry you have not had a reply sooner.
May i say it's odd why he lies, at the end of the day if its about OpSec, operation security then he can simply say i can not disclose or talk about it.
There are plenty of options to contact loved ones and family while serving and within the RAF which is also a litle strange, hopefully this publication may help you.
https://www.raf.mod.uk/community/docume ... h-booklet/
As far as drinking goes, this can vary on units and services and location. There are limits set but this can be abused, as far as i know there are alcohol advisers at hand that can help with personell.
Sorry i can't be of any further help and hope someone can shed a bit more light on the situation and help.

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Hyperlithe
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Re: RAF relationship

#4 Post by Hyperlithe »

I've never been anywhere where there was wifi around the base, it's usually restricted to a welfare cabin, and if you're lucky you can access it in your accommodation.
Without knowing where he is (and please don't put that anywhere on line, or any of his tour dates or personal details) I can't tell you what the drink policy is, but if he's said it's a dry det then I can't see any reason to doubt him. If it's not that then it's a 3 drink limit per 24hr period. That's a hard rule, no way round it.

I don't know what it is that he's lied to you about in the past, but there is going to be a whole heap of stuff that he just can't talk to you about.
You can have peace.
Or you can have freedom.
Don't ever count on having both at once.
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Rainbowred83
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Re: RAF relationship

#5 Post by Rainbowred83 »

Hey there thank you both for your replies, no no i wouldnt disclose any other personal information anywhere. I know there is a lot of things he cannot tell me, i am used to that and i completely understand that. Yes at the moment this is all he has told me that there is Wifi in his accommodation which there is, but then when he stands outside near the cabin where they sleep theres wifi? Maybe i am just overthinking. Hes been on a few deployments, and at times he would say they would be going out and then dissapear for the next 14 hours and stumble in drunk at some ungodly hour. Its his one trait i really dislike, he goes out and he thinks its fine to dissapear this way. God help me if i ever did that lol. I just get paranoid and my trust issues come back up again and i know to some this post may sound desperate and pathetic but i have never been with anyone in the military and this is harder than i thought it would be. I do love him but its hard to just forget the bad things.

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Hyperlithe
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Re: RAF relationship

#6 Post by Hyperlithe »

Yeah, if there's wifi in the accommodation he can probably pick it up just outside as well, as long as he's still in range of the router.

I'm sorry you're finding it hard, it's definitely not easy dealing with a relationship with a military bloke on deployment, even when you're serving as well!
I don't know if you're near a military base at all, but I can definitely recommend the Military Wives' Choir as a support network if you are - you don't have to be great at singing, there's no auditions, and lots of cake... You don't even have to be a wife either, and you'd get lots of support from other ladies who understand completely how you feel.
You can have peace.
Or you can have freedom.
Don't ever count on having both at once.
***********************************
The life that I have
Is all that I have
And the life that I have
Is yours

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