New to the forum, worried sick about my friend. Any advice?
Posted: Mon 02 Feb, 2009 10:20 pm
Hi,
I am new to the forum but have just read through some of the posts and you seem like a friendly and supportive group so I thought I would see if you can put any of my worries to rest or at least give me some advice on how to handle this. Their is a lot of information on here for partners and families, but not much for people in my position.
My ex (now a very close friend) is about to go and do the last stage of his selection process this weekend, aiming at getting into SF once eligible. I have known since we met that this is what he wants to do, but there has always been one thing or another that stopped him getting this far, and now it is starting to actually seem REAL that he is going to go.
I know how long he has waited for this and I want him to be happy, but at the same time I am worried sick about him because he is basically of the opinion that it doesn't matter if he comes back in one piece or not. He has said repeatedly that, aside from me and another friend of his, he has nothing and nobody truly important to come back to (he is not at all close to his parents or sister, hates his job and is dating a girl casually but she is more of a "convenience" if you catch my drift). He also seems hellbent on seeing as much action as possible.
When I tell him how much his attitude frightens me he just tries to placate me. I can't talk to our other friends about the fears I have either, because unfortunately a lot of people are convinced that there is still more to our relationship, despite the fact that I am getting married this year and he has also had other relationships.
So basically I have all this worry going on and nobody to help me deal with it. Can anyone give me any advice, or information, that will help? And how can I keep in touch with him if he does go away?
Thanks,
Joji
I am new to the forum but have just read through some of the posts and you seem like a friendly and supportive group so I thought I would see if you can put any of my worries to rest or at least give me some advice on how to handle this. Their is a lot of information on here for partners and families, but not much for people in my position.
My ex (now a very close friend) is about to go and do the last stage of his selection process this weekend, aiming at getting into SF once eligible. I have known since we met that this is what he wants to do, but there has always been one thing or another that stopped him getting this far, and now it is starting to actually seem REAL that he is going to go.
I know how long he has waited for this and I want him to be happy, but at the same time I am worried sick about him because he is basically of the opinion that it doesn't matter if he comes back in one piece or not. He has said repeatedly that, aside from me and another friend of his, he has nothing and nobody truly important to come back to (he is not at all close to his parents or sister, hates his job and is dating a girl casually but she is more of a "convenience" if you catch my drift). He also seems hellbent on seeing as much action as possible.
When I tell him how much his attitude frightens me he just tries to placate me. I can't talk to our other friends about the fears I have either, because unfortunately a lot of people are convinced that there is still more to our relationship, despite the fact that I am getting married this year and he has also had other relationships.
So basically I have all this worry going on and nobody to help me deal with it. Can anyone give me any advice, or information, that will help? And how can I keep in touch with him if he does go away?
Thanks,
Joji