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Blairs last stand..??

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Blairs last stand..??

#1 Post by cambridgebloke »

UK prime minister Tony Blair has vowed to fight on despite last Thursday's drubbing at the polls which saw his party reduced to just two council seats across the UK.

The Labour Party retained just the Whippet and Steelmills wards of Bolton, where loyal members of the Socialist Old Guard are preparing for a desperate last stand against unstoppable waves of disgruntled voters. The Liberal Democrats (motto: go back to your reclining fire-side chairs and prepare for government) gained 2.2m seats while Tory supremo Vlad the Impaler hailed his party's gains as the net closed on the warmongering Blair.

Reports from the front suggest that Blair and his closest ally John Prescott are now confined to an area in and around an underground complex in the Whitehall area of London. Political insiders believe that once final onslaught by the opposition forces will topple the man who has brought misery and suffering to dozens of Iraqis.

And Blair's chances of survival dropped even lower last week when the UK Independence Party, led by charismatic Islamophile Robert Kilroy-Silk, stormed the beaches of Fortress Europe deploying wave after wave of activists grimly determined to flush the last Briton from mainland Europe — no matter what the cost.

With the end now seemingly inevitable, Blair may have to play his last, desperate card — to lower the voting age to 12 thereby creating a sacrificial volksturm of teenagers armed with nothing more than a picture of the Fuhrer and a copy of Things can only get better. A bloodbath seems inevitable.

Asked for his prognosis, a leading political analyst told The Rockall Times: I predict that Tony will marry long-term companion Cherie, after which they will both kill themselves. Gordon Brown will cremate the bodies in the ruins of Number 10. John Prescott will last be seen attempting to escape the country aboard an Eastjet flight to Brazil, although he will subsequently completely disappear. Peter Mandleson will spend 25 years in Argentina until he is abducted by the Inland Revenue, flown to Britain and hanged after being found guilty of serious financial misconduct.

"After the fall of Blair, an Iron Curtain will descend across the UK, with the prosperous south benefiting from all the advantages of Tory rule — improved health services, efficient public transport, etc. — while the impoverished north will spend 40 years living in grim tenement blocks and driving two-stroke engined motorised dustbins."

Asked whether it was likely that New Labour scientists would in the future be able to clone an army of Tony B's from a blood sample taken from a handkerchief an insiders chilling reply was "Yes"

:wink: CB

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#2 Post by Spannerman »

If you are Tory you have to lie about Labours performance, if you are Labour you have to lie about the Tories performance, if you are LibDem you have to lie about both Lab/Con performances.

The whole of UK politics is a complete sham, spin, spin and even more spin, they must think that the electorate came off the last banana boat.

Why can't we have an honest politician who just says the last X years we have got it wrong, watch the deceit from His Masters Voice at his monthly press conference tomorrow, another 100000 votes down the Swannee River.

John Major did exactly the same in 1997 singing to the tune of I did it my way he blew it then like Blair is now, he will not apologise for anything, he will fight on. The song this time is from the punters in the street So sing, sing or show us your ring, we don't want to see your ring so sing you barsteward sing, sing, sing

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