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This sorted me out

Discussions and general chat about PTSD. Feel free to introduce yourself or if you need help, please reach out and ask.
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Gimpy
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This sorted me out

Post by Gimpy »

I won't claim to know what it's like to have PTSD, but I had some serious issues and had tried pretty much everything you could think of to sort them out, to no avail.
Without going into detail, I was in enough of a state to be almost constantly thinking about suicide and had written a goodbye note and sat with a blade against my wrist on more occasions than I care to remember. Thankfully I never had the balls to do it though (and I don't care what anybody says about it being a coward's way out- it takes balls to take your own life).

At the beginning of this year, somebody showed me an advert in a local paper for a course to learn something called Transcendental Meditation. Straight away I had images of a load of people stinking of incense, sitting in the lotus position and chanting. I dismissed it thinking it'd be a load of b0llocks and would just get my hopes up again. After mulling it over for a few weeks though, I decided I may as well give it a go as nothing else had worked and I'd got nothing to lose and everything to gain on the off-chance that it helped.

It was the best decision of my life. I'm not one for bullsh1tting or drama but I'm not exaggerating when I say that it's completely changed my life for the better. Within a week of doing it I was sleeping normally, which after 6 solid years of either insomnia, horrendous nightmares or sleep apnea every night without exception, was amazing in itself.
On top of that I noticed the depression starting to fade away, and the more I did it the easier it got and the more effect it had.
I've been doing it for about 4 months now, 20 minutes, twice/day (once in the morning and once at night) and can say in all honesty that I'm a completely different person.

Even if it's as a last resort, give it a try because from what I've experienced and from extensive reading about the experiences of others I honestly believe it could help even with something as serious as PTSD. You don't even have to believe it'll work- I went into it as a complete sceptic and even after I started sleeping again I still couldn't quite believe it.
Don't be put off by the name either (like I almost was)- it does sound airy-fairy but it works.

If anybody's interested in it, there's a ton of scientific research backing it up so look online. Also, I'd be happy to answer any questions about it/try to explain it better either by PM or over the phone.
Wholley
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Post by Wholley »

Wise words from the Gimpster.
I went through a period of my life when I got shot and divorced all in the same year.I spent many a night staring at the business end of my Glock.My wound hurt less than the divorce and left me a bit of a basket case.Without meaning to be preachy my way through was with the Church.
I think we often forget that as a race we are tribal in nature and as such we do not function well alone.It matters not where we reach,be it oppo's Regiment,family or just a pet,we need to know that we have worth and that we are not treading trodden trails to no avail.
Whatever your crutch we all need one eventually,sadly,mostly as we get older and our old buddies start to disappear and we end up going to more funerals than weddings.
Sorry,bit of a ramble there.
I'll shut up now.
Pilgrim Norway
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Post by Pilgrim Norway »

Well done - both of you

Great reading that was .......
Trog
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dave1234
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Post by dave1234 »

After being severely injured by a chiropractor, I lost my life savings and had to use most of the equity in my house to pay for my medical bills. For the first six months I was in so much physical pain that I did not have time to think about anything else. As I slowly became better and was able to walk again, and the pain was going down, a dark rage came over me over what that man had done to me. I used to have a pretty bad temper and this grew when we found out that no lawyer would take my case, as I already had a herniated disk and they said the opposition would use that to get the case dismissed. I was incensed with rage at the injustice of all of this.

Then in terrible pain and desperate, I let another chiropractor use a traction device on me. I didn’t know at the time, but my spine had been twisted in three places, and my pelvis was dislocated. Every time that thing stretched me, I felt like I was being ripped apart. He never did any tests on me before putting me on that thing. Old nightmares started coming back about the all the bad stuff that happened and that I had seen overseas. I had been held against my will in one place and all that junk came pouring back.
The final blow came when my mum called and told me she had sold the house that she had lived in for many years [ and where my dad died ] and moved into a tiny apartment in Inverness so that she could have some money to pay my medical bills and save us from being losing our home.
When I put the phone down, I burst into tears and cried like I have never done in my life. I felt so ashamed that she had to do this for me. I felt so much shame that it should be me that should be looking after her, not the other way around. I felt worthless and filled with rage.

My wife is a very gentle and religious person. She told me “You have to forgive them”.
I flew out of the seat and screamed at her “Forgive those F!@#s – are you mad ?”
She told me that if I didn’t learn to forgive, that all that poison in me would eventually destroy my health. I knew what she was saying was true, but I couldn’t do it. She then told me that I had to to do this not for their sake but for mine. I had no idea what she was on about. She told me that I should think of that first chiro and say “I forgive you” every day. For a few months, I forgot about what she said, and then one night laying in bed I said “I forgive you” out loud. I didn’t mean it all, but I kept saying this for about a year. A funny thing happened. When I say it now, I no longer feel that gut hatred. I feel like he is a person I barely know. I know deep deep down, I may never really forgive him, but he is no longer the focus of all my thoughts. A year ago, his face would be in my mind all day long, now I only think about him maybe once a month. I read a chapter called “Forgive and Move on” in a book by Joel Osteen each day. It has helped.

Dave
Wholley
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Post by Wholley »

I'm going to be in Florida on Monday,Ft.Lauderdale.
Not so far from Orlando,maybe we could meet.
dave1234
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Post by dave1234 »

Hello Wholley

Drop me a PM with your details and a contact number for your hotel/house.

There's a guy who has some simple treatments for Osgood's Slaughter's Disease that you could maybe talk to. I think he could help a lot of soldiers. The program is being sponsored by the University of South Florida at Tampa.

Dave
dave1234
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Post by dave1234 »

This is a video clip about the second chiropractor who messed me up. He had his licence suspended for what he had done to me as well as false insurance billing for a bunch of other people. His business collapsed, his wife left him and took all the money with her. He then tried to commit suicide and ended up in a coma.

http://www.wftv.com/news/18052925/detail.html

If I had heard that news shortly after I was injured, I would have been the happiest person on the planet. But when I heard about it a few months back, I wasn’t happy about what had happened to him and actually felt pity for him despite what he had done to me by taking advantage of my being in pain and willing to do anything to stop it. I have made my mind up to try and forgive those who have done the worst to me, including some really evil people overseas. I still have rage beneath the surface and it boils up every now and then, but I can control it much better now. I am able to walk now and move my spine and am hoping to get work soon. I take each day as it comes.

Dave
Pilgrim Norway
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Post by Pilgrim Norway »

Hey Dave - stay with it .... you are doing well.

Meet up with Wholley and make him buy you a beer or three.

You don't mention your age - not important or relevant but one of my
Squadmates broke his back and made a recovery - slowly - but he's
in good shape even now at seventy.

Keep on posting mate - good to read.
Trog
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Gimpy
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Post by Gimpy »

Dave

That's one hell of a story.

It takes mental strength that 99% of people haven't got to be able to find some forgiveness for those who've really wronged us, especially when it's on the scale that you're referring to, so I have the utmost admiration for you in that respect.

It sounds like you're on the right track to healing, physically and mentally, so hang in there.

All the best.
dave1234
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Post by dave1234 »

Thanks for your kind words guys.

I just turned 52, although some days I feel 152.

Because I had to go through so many doctors and so many chiros, and read so many books to find out what was wrong with me and sat in so many clinics [ I was told by all of them that I would be in a wheelchair in six months and paralyzed from the waist down within two years ] I have seen just about every type of back pain imaginable. As a result I have been put in a position where I've been able to guide about a dozen seriously hurt people to get help from the right people. They are now leading normal lives. My wife says that I went through all this in order to be of help to others. I have to accept that, as I could not imagine God would have put me through what I went through for nothing.

I was so lost and lonely when everyone except my wife had given up on me. I had to "flop" out of the bed and crawl to the toilet on my belly. Because I lay curled up in a little ball for six months because of the pain in my spine and hip, every muscle in my body had contracted. That then led to me having pain over my entire body. I only slept for 15 minutes at a time, and had my wife put black drapes over the windows so that I didn't know if it was day or night. I have a reasonable tolerance for pain, but it got so bad that I cried once for seven hours non-stop.My wife found me one night in the I'M A SCAMMER SPAMMER!!! holding a serrated I'M A SCAMMER SPAMMER!!! knife. I just wanted to cut my leg off. I was three weeks away from travelling to India to get my right leg amputated when I was put in touch with Al Meilus, the man who helped me to recover. I have never believed in miracles, but that was one, I am certain.

Dave
Gimpy
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Post by Gimpy »

I'm not a religious man but I do try to believe that everything happens for a reason and to look for the good in every bad situation. I say 'try to' because this is easy when things are going ok, but can be virtually impossible when things are at rock bottom.

However if you can maintain this outlook on life consistently then the battle is half won. If you can find just a tiny spark of hope in the darkest times of your life then you'll always have something positive to focus on.
dave1234
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Post by dave1234 »

Tks Gimpy. I am so much better now than four years ago. I've had tests done that show that I am no longer at riskof paralysis due to all the therapy I've had done. I'm actually getting ready to start my life over again. As hard as I try at times, I cannot even "feel" in my mind how bad the pain was. I think the brain has covered it up somehow. There are times when I think it happened to someone else, but whenever I cut my finger or stub my toe, it all comes pouring back. The worst part was when I was unable to take any more pain medication due to my liver and kidneys starting to show the effects. For over three months I had nothing to help with the pain at all, and those were very bad times. Truly terrible. During that time, I lost all hope. The worst part was that I would have the same dream every night. When I was able to sleep for a short period, I would dream that I was able to walk and had no pain. It was wonderful. I remember in my dream people walking up to me and saying "But you were supposed to be injured". These would be friends and comrades who had passed away. I would always say "No,no, no that was just a dream" and we would all laugh and embrace each other. Then I would say "But you're dead", and then I'd wake up. That was very hard to deal with. That went on every night until I had my spine "untwisted" and my pelvis put back in place. That very night, I never had that dream again.

Dave
Pilgrim Norway
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Post by Pilgrim Norway »

I'd say that the right people were there when you needed them Dave.

You are making it happen on your own now. Well done.

Your wife is right - there is a reason for it all.

Thank you for passing on information here. It may just help others.
Trog
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