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Great site
Something from the aboveweb site that is quite humourous.
<>Army Official Voice Mail Message
‘Thank you for calling the British Army. I’m sorry, but all of our units are either out, financially embarrassed, or are otherwise engaged. Please leave a message stating your, country, organization, region, the specific crisis, and a number at which we can call you. You will have to accept reverse charges as were are strapped for cash. As soon as we have sorted out the Balkans, Iraq, Northern Ireland, the Millennium Bug, marching up and down bits of tarmac in London and compulsory Equal Opportunities training, we will return your call.
‘Please speak after the tone, or if you require more options, please listen to the following numbers.
‘If your crisis is small and close to the sea, press 1 for the Royal Marines.
‘If your concern is distant, with a tropical climate and good hotels and can be solved by 1 or 2 low risk bombing runs, please press ‘Hash’ for the Royal Air Force. Please note this service is not available after 1630 hrs, or at weekends.
If your enquiry concerns a situation which can be resolved by a bit of Grey funnel, bunting, flags or a really good marching band, please write, well in advance, to the First Sea Lord, The Admiralty, Whitehall.
‘If your enquiry is not urgent, please press 2 for the Allied Rapid Reaction Corps.'
If you are in real hot trouble please press 3 and your call will be routed to Sandline International.
‘If you are interested in joining the Army and wish to be shouted at, have premature arthritis, be paid little for protecting your countrymen or any other sponging foreigner that seeks asylum here, put your wife and family in a condemned hut miles from civilization, be prepared to work your ***** off daily, risking your life in all weathers and terrain, both day and night, whilst watching the Treasury eroding your original terms and conditions of service, then please stay on the line. Your call will shortly be connected to a bitter passes-over Recruiting Sergeant in a grotty shop down by the railway station.’
‘Have a pleasant day, and thank you again for trying to contact the British Army.’
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<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Defiant on 2001-12-08 14:19 ]</font>
Something from the aboveweb site that is quite humourous.
<>Army Official Voice Mail Message
‘Thank you for calling the British Army. I’m sorry, but all of our units are either out, financially embarrassed, or are otherwise engaged. Please leave a message stating your, country, organization, region, the specific crisis, and a number at which we can call you. You will have to accept reverse charges as were are strapped for cash. As soon as we have sorted out the Balkans, Iraq, Northern Ireland, the Millennium Bug, marching up and down bits of tarmac in London and compulsory Equal Opportunities training, we will return your call.
‘Please speak after the tone, or if you require more options, please listen to the following numbers.
‘If your crisis is small and close to the sea, press 1 for the Royal Marines.
‘If your concern is distant, with a tropical climate and good hotels and can be solved by 1 or 2 low risk bombing runs, please press ‘Hash’ for the Royal Air Force. Please note this service is not available after 1630 hrs, or at weekends.
If your enquiry concerns a situation which can be resolved by a bit of Grey funnel, bunting, flags or a really good marching band, please write, well in advance, to the First Sea Lord, The Admiralty, Whitehall.
‘If your enquiry is not urgent, please press 2 for the Allied Rapid Reaction Corps.'
If you are in real hot trouble please press 3 and your call will be routed to Sandline International.
‘If you are interested in joining the Army and wish to be shouted at, have premature arthritis, be paid little for protecting your countrymen or any other sponging foreigner that seeks asylum here, put your wife and family in a condemned hut miles from civilization, be prepared to work your ***** off daily, risking your life in all weathers and terrain, both day and night, whilst watching the Treasury eroding your original terms and conditions of service, then please stay on the line. Your call will shortly be connected to a bitter passes-over Recruiting Sergeant in a grotty shop down by the railway station.’
‘Have a pleasant day, and thank you again for trying to contact the British Army.’
<>
<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Defiant on 2001-12-08 14:19 ]</font>
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- Member
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Sat 08 Dec, 2001 12:00 am
- Location: Arkansas
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- Member
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Sat 08 Dec, 2001 12:00 am
- Location: Arkansas
Sure is Defiant... Check out http://www.grunt.com or http://www.military.com Semper Fidelis Picker
- Gipper
- Member
- Posts: 82
- Joined: Thu 06 Dec, 2001 12:00 am
- Location: British Columbia, Canada
- Contact:
http://www.specialoperations.com also has a lot of busy forums.
Here are two other US military sites: http://www.patriotfiles.com and http://www.strategypage.com
Nothing against the good old US of A or Uncle Sam's Misguided Children (USMC)- but suerly you have enough message boards to advertise your pages on, This one is subject strictly "Founder Marines" ie "Royal Marines". So keep the chat relevant and real!
There is another thread which is for General Military Chatter which includes all Military no matter which country...
<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: BullDog on 2001-12-09 13:05 ]</font>
There is another thread which is for General Military Chatter which includes all Military no matter which country...
<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: BullDog on 2001-12-09 13:05 ]</font>
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- Member
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Sat 08 Dec, 2001 12:00 am
- Location: Arkansas
I joke for all u Marines
A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant Marines. They come to the bar and order five bottles of beer and ten glasses. They take their order over and sit down at a large table. The caps are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Soon three more Marines arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Two more Marines show up and soon their voices are are joined in raising the roof, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Finally the tenth Marine comes in with a picture under his arm, he walks over to the table, and sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts.
Up jump the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed child's puzzle of the cookie monster. When the frenzy dies down a little bit the bartender asks one of the Marines, "Whats all the chanting and celebration about?"
The Marine who brought in the picture pipes in, "Everyone thinks that Marines are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together, bought this puzzle and put it together. The side of the box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51 days."
A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant Marines. They come to the bar and order five bottles of beer and ten glasses. They take their order over and sit down at a large table. The caps are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Soon three more Marines arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Two more Marines show up and soon their voices are are joined in raising the roof, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Finally the tenth Marine comes in with a picture under his arm, he walks over to the table, and sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts.
Up jump the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed child's puzzle of the cookie monster. When the frenzy dies down a little bit the bartender asks one of the Marines, "Whats all the chanting and celebration about?"
The Marine who brought in the picture pipes in, "Everyone thinks that Marines are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together, bought this puzzle and put it together. The side of the box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51 days."
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- Joined: Fri 14 Dec, 2001 12:00 am
- Location: Lamerton, Tavistock
Defiant – I note with interest your interaction on the other topics notably the one on NI it seems your ineptitude grows further, the Joke is excellent though not original, like your comments on NI, I take it that they are not based on experience merely what you believe may be controversial. I would wait till you get into the Army before you start gobbing off, if that is the best you can be…
Just a small point though it’s “Royal Marines” to you Lofty!
(Surprised you missed that one Yorkie)
<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: BullDog on 2001-12-17 18:08 ]</font>
Just a small point though it’s “Royal Marines” to you Lofty!
(Surprised you missed that one Yorkie)
<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: BullDog on 2001-12-17 18:08 ]</font>