Sarcastic ways of stating the bleedin obvious

sharky · Post by **sharky** » Tue 25 Mar, 2003 9:10 pm

nipples like chappel hat pegs?
ooer, sorry missus

El Prez · Post by **El Prez** » Tue 25 Mar, 2003 9:14 pm

Madam, I may be drunk, but in the morning I'll be sober, whereas you will still be ugly!

Sticky Blue · Post by **Sticky Blue** » Tue 25 Mar, 2003 9:27 pm

Face like a blind cobblers thumb.
Face like a pirates flag.
Face like a bulldog licking p*ss off a nettle.
Nipples like Scammel wheel nuts.
I was that p*ssed I didn't know wheather to scratch my watch or wind my ar*e.
I'm not saying she's been around but she's had more pric*s than a second hand dart board.
I'm not saying she's been around but she's had more c*ck than Bernard Matthews has got Turkeys.
I'm not saying that skirt is short but I've seen wider belts!
Look at her. It's like two zeppelins in a photo finnish.
If brains were dynamite he wouldn'yt have enough to blow and ant's nose.
If intelect was chocolate he wouldn't have enough to fill a smartie.

Jim T · Post by **Jim T** » Tue 25 Mar, 2003 9:36 pm

"Got a match?"
"Yeah, your breath my fart!"

Jim T

Jim T · Post by **Jim T** » Tue 25 Mar, 2003 9:38 pm

"I've heard that she's only ever been out with 2 Commandos"

"Yeah, 40 and 42!"

Jim T

Archie · Post by **Archie** » Tue 25 Mar, 2003 9:40 pm

Jim T

That's no way to talk about Tina.

Sticky Blue · Post by **Sticky Blue** » Tue 25 Mar, 2003 9:42 pm

My wife only slept with 2 Marines

The Royal Marines and the Dutch Marines!!

Sea Soldier · Post by **Sea Soldier** » Tue 25 Mar, 2003 9:45 pm

Knickers like funnel covers for Ark Royal

She's got more miles on the clock than a Pussers Landrover

Bangs like a Belt-fed Wombat

She's got a mouth like a torn pocket (remind you of anyone living @ No
10) ?

I'd only follow that Officer/SNCO out of idle curiousity

.... joined the Corps before the Dead Sea went sick

... was in a Combat Suit,while you were still in a Romper Suit

... was in Baghdad while you were still in Dad's bag

... was on the Main Gate while you were still on Cow & Gate

Archie · Post by **Archie** » Tue 25 Mar, 2003 9:46 pm

"Nice shooting Elmer"

Beasta · Post by **Beasta** » Tue 25 Mar, 2003 10:08 pm

"She had a face like a slapped ar*e"
"It looked like a badly packed kebab" (think about it)
"She'd seen more Japs eyes than a Japanese commissioner.

Sorry for offence....

Chris B · Post by **Chris B** » Tue 25 Mar, 2003 11:26 pm

He had more time off than Rip Van Winkle's bed side lamp.

This lot could bring a tear to a glass eye :drinking:

Sticky Blue · Post by **Sticky Blue** » Tue 25 Mar, 2003 11:28 pm

More time off than the Colonels Combat Jacket!
Usefull as an ashtray on a moped
Usefull as Chocolate fireguard

Sea Soldier · Post by **Sea Soldier** » Tue 25 Mar, 2003 11:49 pm

How about ... "As much use as a Candy Floss Door Knocker" ?

ringoo58 · Post by **ringoo58** » Wed 26 Mar, 2003 12:27 am

"Piss flaps like panniers on a lambretta".
C**T like a great coat sleeve.
Face like its been on fire and had been put out by a shovel.

TheCount · Post by **TheCount** » Wed 26 Mar, 2003 12:38 am

We should have a restricted rude section in the forum....

Has anyone ever held doubts about the RM when they have met a girl who makes you want for nothing?

I have been in a relationship for a while but have just met a girl who has changed my outlook on things?

I feel confused, I'm only 21, I need some guidance

Home | About Us | Articles | Forums | Shop | Reviews | Search | Contact Us | Advertise With Us

Our Journey Comes to an End! Please read our latest Announcement: https://www.militaryforums.co.uk/military-forums-closure.php

Share This Page:

Sarcastic ways of stating the bleedin obvious