You know your drunk when..........

[BBC]

....it seems like a great idea to go skinny dipping in the duckpond of St James's park after an official reception with a small group of friends leaving your clothes on the side only to be caughty by Mr Plod who forces the gentlemen to identify their clothing by their medals.... (never actually saw medal envy in action before this!)
and i did to look dashing in that policemans lovely bright yellow jacket..... and the sick added a little something.....

BBC

[MyssL]

.....You go out with about 20 highest officers of your boss' staff after a ceremony(long story) - use the wrong toilets, accidently' moon at the passing traffic - and end up dragging one officer in a shop doorway to .... well, lets say a little more than 'mouth to mouth breathing exercises'. Except this is Central London (not the most quietest of places, and he's about 20 years older and 8 stone heavier)........ at least nobody can say I discriminate.

Not my normal activities I can tell you. Made the following meetings interesting though.

[Hyperlithe]

You fall into bed at about 5am, having helped yourself to a sandwich from the hotel I'M A SCAMMER SPAMMER!!! (good job I used to work there...) and wake up at half 8 to a screaming noise emanating from somewhere just above your head. Fortunately it was the builders on the floor above! Get a call from Reception at 11 to ask if you're decent cos they've got a problem with the computer systems, and you have to get dressed and go behind the reception desk in your civvy clothes to reboot the hotel's entire operating system. With a banging still going on somewhere just above your right eye, and your eyes barely open. Check out about 12, put case in car, go back into hotel, to staff toilets, throw guts up so as not to risk it happening in car, and then drive 15 miles up the motorway.
Don't ask me about the night before, I still can't remember most of it. There was a drink called a BlowJob (Actually I have a feeling there were about 7 of those), a random bloke in the Press Club that I kissed, and one of the blokes that I now used to work with whose shoulder I fell asleep on. Not so bad, except that his girlfriend was also out. And he'd told me earlier in the evening that he would have asked me out weeks ago but he thought I must be seeing someone.
But it was fun!

[flo]

You know you've had a good night when your all dressed up in blue waterstained taffeta cocktail dress and have been invited onboard HMS Cardiff to the Wardroom for an official works do. Then suddenly the night passes you by and your rudely awoken by your landlady at 5 in the morning telling you that the taxi peeping there horn outside is for me. Still wearing the dress complete with pernod and blackcurrant , make up slipped from the face and the false eyelashes stuck together you gather your belongings because your going of on leave and find that you have to sit all the way on a moving train (complete with raging hangover and stains ) to Dundee next to a bunch of hairy arsed riggers, who find it highly amusing that you dressed up for the occasion. Yes you guessed i fell asleep fully clothed and just had to run or would have missed my train.

[blodwyn]

you know when your severely bladdered when your disappointed cos' the bop at lyneham close's at midnite, dont you love it when your feet stick to floor and all the women look like Claudia Schiffer...... happy days

[MyssL]

...when still living at your parents house, bring home boyf to meet them, and decide it was a good idea to take out the main course your Mum has been slaving over for the whole day - only to tip it over the floor in front of your disgusted Dad......

.....yep boyf was pissed too, and was laughing at me at the time. Dad was in the Army.........

Yep happy days them. MyssL

[andrew_s]

.....when after a night out on the guinness you fall sleep on the landing of a mates house and wake up naked, next to said mate, soaking wet (sweat i presumed).......... ..........i stil haven't a clue how i got there-niether does my mate.....

[Oakers]

Woke up Monday morning on the sofa wrapped up in a heap of laundry which I am informed had been folded up and was waiting to be put away!

No idea how I got home or where I was! Now that's a good night

[Cronkilla]

Phoning the customer careline on the back of a beer can , waiting 45 minutes listening to some brilliant classical music before a women picks up :

Women : Hello X careline...
Me : Hello
Women : How can i help you sir?
Me : Im just phoning to congratulate you on your beer, job well done !
Women : Ok sir thank you, anything else?
Me : Nope, thats it. Bye
Women : Erm......bye .
Me : Actually, any chance of some free samples ?
Women : Im afraid not sir.
Me: Ok, thank you. Bye

Then doing it for all the beers you have

[BBC]

........and on a sh*t date, when you line them up, knock them back, stagger out, dance on tables, tell filthy jokes, do the giggle splatter laugh, feel a tad green, sway outside, start to throw up, and ask your date to hold your hair back while you do it........

BBC

[Stu-]

drink far too much vodka insisting that I could take the silly amount I had poured myself diluted by ooo a capful of coke, throw up promptly on somen guys floor I'd only met 5 hours earlier, stumble out of a taxi with a thud on the floor

dragged myself up, kicked the gate open and threw my wallet and phone on the floor along with housekeys, walk around the back of the house, tripped and fell over on the grass 'aaahh this is comfortable' i thought and woke up with the sun blazing overhead 6.30 am then to be told about my adventures

oh being 17 was so much fun

[Stu-]

Christmas Eve 03, went on pub crawl as you do. Sank a few beers took a few pics with the digicam and tuck away yet more lager

musta been on 11 pints or somethin between 7 and 11pm and reaching Stu's full lager capacity. Stagger home freezing my a*se off due to the biting north sea wind (live in Clacton, coastal town)

Thought 'feel f*kin great and actually felt sober', collapsed into bed where the real fun began. Somehow wokeup during the night, walked around my room bangin into stuff tryin to get to the toilet and god knows why, went back to my bed, flung the covers back and proceeded to piss a green smelly piss all over my bed

then i stipped naked and got into bed, slept in my piss only to wakeup christmas morning absolutely stinking of piss and with a stonkin hangover. Oh, and found that i'd pissed on a teddy bear I'd bought for my mother. In true style i was knockin back stella at 11am, slowly mind u but what a night....