'Daddy'

[JR]

Norway late 1980's.one of the manifestations of goodwill with the Norwegians was that a party of Marines would attend divine service in a small,rural Norwegian church.The Marines faced one obvious difficulty.Their knowledge of the language,where it existed at all,the associated problem of when to stand up,kneel down,or sit was fairly easy to deal with, they would follow the well established proceedure of those put to use by people who attend church services. To minimise the chance of error the Bootnecks congregated in a solid block at the rear of the church.For most of the service they did not put a foot wrong.They stood,knelt and sat with carefully observed timeliness.The christening service was approaching its close and they in conformity with the moves of the rest of the congregation,were sitting down,the Pastor made a short address. A man in a pew towards the front stood up.About thirty Marines stood up too.The remainder of the people in the church still seated,turned and looked around and stared,looking mildly astonished.Young girls giggled discreetly,young men sniggered.The Marines stood their groung stolidly.When the solitary man at the front sat down so did the Marines.
Outside the church,the service over,the Marines asked one of the English speaking Norwegians about the cause of all the sniggering and giggleing.
"What the Pastor said." explained the Norwegian,"Was: will the father of the child who is to be christened Please stand up.
Aye JR

[TomW]

[got1]

JR, the wife loved that one.
ps One of the few Royal stories I could tell her.

[jay999]

Laughing my ass off at that one mate!

[JR]

The resurection of another light hearted thread regarding parenthood?

Returning from one of the many jaunts onboard one of Her Majesty's war canoe's after a 18 month commission all ships company fell in on the upper deck for entering harbour.
Families waiting on the jetty,18 months away from home you eagerly look for the Mrs and the young un,the young un now the eldest daughter about 3 years old at the time,I could see the Mrs holding up the No 1 Gal.
Apparently the Wife said to the Sprog,there's Daddy! Wave,most of the ships company were waving back.
That girl has been confused ever since :lilangel: and I sometimes see the puzzled look on her Face??? .
Aye jr

[Artist]

I returned from deployment, handed in all me kit, got a lift home only to find the First Mrs Evans had naffed offt with some Janner whilst I was away! The Bitch had still been writing to me all love n hugs whilst having a grand time being Pork Sworded by anything in a pair of trousers!

14 years later I found out that she had passed away and Lo and Behold I had a son! A series of tests proved that I was the father and then the shit really hit the fan!!! Mrs Evans the second was a tad annoyed and refused point blank to have ought to do with him. That was fun! NOT!

Son joined the Corp, did his nine and joined the Cops. Four months later he resigned from the Cops and since then has been working in the Sand Pit. Am still waiting for him to reply to my series of Begging letters!!!

Artist

[JR]

Hell! steve.....The spectre of some illicit union knocking on the front door Haunts me to this day :lilangel: .
And with the words G-Day Mate Ma sends her regards you 'Pommie'B'stard... Aye jr

[got1]

One of the lads came back off a tour in NI.
Went in the door, "I'm home dear", to find his girl friend from NI sitting on the settee having a coffee with his wife.

[flo]

Got 1, this wasnt in 1984 by any chance??

[got1]

flo, wasn't you luv, was it ?. Nah it was some time in the 70s. Caused quite a stir.

[Sticky Blue]

1984 by any chance??

Do tell...

[flo]

When i first started going out with Jed, i met him in the waverley on the Thursday on his return from NI (where hed been in a mortar attack) and believe it or not we were living together by the following saturday. He was in Commachio at the time and spent two weeks of the month in Faslane. We had been going for a about 4 months when he said he was going to visit his brother. No problems. Anyway on his return i found a ferry ticket in his jeans which he'd put to the wash!!! strange his brother lives in swindon So off i went with my heckles up and discovered a letter from a bird in Kilkeel. So i phoned her and informed her that jed was living with someone and that her name was Fiona, i also gave her my phone number. Right on Q my phone went. I informed the girl that it was true but made out that i was fiona's flatmate and suggested she phoned back just after 11oclock as fiona and jed were out for a meal that night. So off i went to meet jed and i acted as if nothing untowards had happened. I fleeced him for rent and help towards the gas bill (well the barsteward wasnt going to have lived at mine for free and had extra services ...if you know what i mean ) When we returned the phone went, yep it was her. I turned around to jed and said its for you its someone who says her name is jackie and she is your girlfriend. Oh did he turn white and try and use the old excuse, 'Its the lads mucking around' Anyway i yelled and threw things and next morning he was gone (start of summer leave). i never heard from him for 4 weeks. but i had had a few phone calls from his mother that informed me that i was a wicked woman to pick on such a young boy!!!!! It turned out he was more scared of his mother than me and had told her i was a 42 year old woman who did the laundry for the lads, and i let anyone sleep over for the night if they were in town. I phoned up this jackie and got talking to her and explained that i wasnt 42 and definately not a dhobi waller, she didnt belive me so i sent a copy of every porno letter that jed had written me over te 4 month period to her and also his mother. Oh revenge was sweet. We did break up but i got my own back on the the little scroat and then we hooked up again about 6 months later at a party lou stevens had .................the rest as you say is history. Two years later we married in Condor and a guest turned up with you know who on his arm, yep she was looking for a ticket out of NI but we had a great talk and are now very good friends. Little git wouldnt think twice about doing it now though.
And for the record weve been together for 14 years and i wouldnt swap him for anything..............................god did i just say that

[got1]

Flo, please let us know when the book comes out.

[Mike]

Hell! steve.....The spectre of some illicit union knocking on the front door Haunts me to this day :lilangel: .
And with the words G-Day Mate Ma sends her regards you 'Pommie'B'stard... Aye jr

JR that's be the same here, I'd love to go back to Mombassa but have the feeling there would be a township of Little Mikes roaming about... I have to admit that I did spread it about fairly thickly....Well y'do when you young and Virile Don'ch

Aye
Mike

[JR]

Maybe we should have called this thread, bootnecks sprogs reunited (Global),Ah well! Royal always has been a sucker for a pretty face 'not forgetting the other vunerable parts' .

Was there ever a course on 'Pash' trapping or did it come under the heading adapt and improvise,we would travel miles for a worthwhile run ashore?????.I always thought the best Safari was to Guildford and Queen Elizabeth barracks the home of what was once Women's Royal Army Corps, Motto (Suaviter in Modo,Fortiter in Re)= Gentle in Manner resolute in deed . Easy enough to get into the barracks,not so easy getting out.
With all this fornicating thats been going on I hope the Child benefit Agency have'nt got a link to this site.Aye JR.

And the next installment will be the 'Dutchess of Bent Carrot barracks'
Portsmouth,home of the brave???????