demokid, thanks for this post. You raise an important point which not all young lads fully appreciate when they sign up, or when they start the whole process off with trying to get into the Forces... You seriously need to get yourself in as good a shape as possible and that includes getting your teeth sorted. Simple things like Athletes foot needs to be sorted too (unless you're an athlete)
The perforated eardrum thing shouldn't be TOO much of a problem depending on severity. If it's a bad perforation and you have a low IQ then you may not be able to apply for 'THEM' as there is a danger that you could give your position away on ops in certain weather conditions.. (something to do with high air pressure combining with the empty space between your ears which sucks air in through the perforation and creates a loud whistle as it exits the other ear apparently)
As for the teeth, dental hygiene is a big thing in The Forces. Just think how much of a burden you could be on ops in the middle of Iraqistan if your stumps start giving you gyp.... Once the bullets run out and your bayonet is dull from slicing through the bodies, all you may have left is your teeth in a biting fight...... very few enemy soldiers were gummed to death in WW2, but a few may have been given a nasty bite.... every little helps..
And if you have a gap, please note you will need to have a symmetrical row of teeth. Ask your dentist to remove the same tooth on the other side. You need to have a symmetrical mouth to pass the medical and selection, something to do with air pressure in aircraft. Symmetrical PEARLY WHITE teeth (with that 'glint' of confidence) may also help you get attachments to american units in the future or recruitment teams..... (would you join a regiment that had Pte Shane MacGowan on it's recruitment stand?)... You'll have no chance of being on any ‘Be The Best’ posters without that dental perfect smile.......
False teeth are a no-no in an operational environment, as they might fall out and block the air inlet from the respirator canister.
In short...........
Teeth.... get them sorted now or you'll be spitting them out when you do compulsory milling during your first week training.......(normally fighting for best bed space)
And get them sorted in civvy street. Whatever you do don't let the army dentist take a look inside your gob.... they'll use you for dental experiments giving them valuable experience for when they get out and earn shedloads in the private sector.
If you are a genetical mutant with a centrally positioned gap in your front teeth, it may be acceptable in logistics or administrative units, such as RMP or RAF Regiment as the gap may help when whistling to control guard dogs and such like. However for elite units, it’s the symmetry that’s key these days......Most fighting units are called ‘teeth arms’ for a reason y'know...
Remember......A winning smile can help charm the enemy into submission. A gob full of broken gravestones on the other hand implies a lack of self discipline and probably an unhealthy love affair with your local McBurger and pop place. Johnny Foreigner may be tempted to take you on if you display uneven pegs.....
Too many teeth attached to your jaws?? Well,they might not hurt now.... but think about your first milling experience.... They’ll hurt then...
And if you're thinking of caps .... think porcelain veneers
Always helpful... always on guard... that's Sportbilly....
(For the more awake members with reasonable memories, please accept my apologies for re-posting an old thread contribution of mine.... Hate to reinvent the wheel..... 
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