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Joining against Parents Wishes

Posted: Tue 19 Jul, 2005 9:15 pm
by robcoh
I don't know if this has come up on this site before, but I haven't read about it any where before. Firstly i will give you my background and see where this take you, im am a 17 year old student studying at a private school in london, I am an active part in my schools Combined Cadet force naval section where I am head of section (Coxn.). I have wanted to join the Navy since becoming an active member in CCF, where I have taken part in various courses including an Army Officer Prospective course, of which my parents were not aware of. I would like to join the Royal Navy on completion of my education next june, but my parents are not willing me to do so, this is not because they object to war or anything but their arguement is that I am wasting my education. They have now got to the point of saying that I have been "brain washed" and that they think I want to join "to play soldiers", as I said above this is not the case, and the atrocitys that took place in London 2 weeks ago have only reinforced my views, but my parents are still refusing to accept the fact that I want to join.

I don't know how many, if any of you were in a similar situation, but any help to try to convince my parents that this is the right descision would be appreciated. Sorry for this post being so long but I hope you will help.

Many thanks

Rob

Posted: Tue 19 Jul, 2005 10:18 pm
by james_m
Sounds like the first time I talked about the Royal Marines with my parents. I think what they are saying is just an initial reaction maybe because of shock! My parents (well Mum actually) came around in the end and now support me 100%. Give your parents some time to come to terms with your decisions and to let them know you are serious!

If they dont come around by the time you want to join and you are 18, then who cares becuase you can do what you want! :-?

Hope all goes well for you mate
Cheers
James_m

Posted: Wed 20 Jul, 2005 10:31 am
by johnno2004
yep i has the same problem when i told my darling parents i wanted to join the marines, "do you want to die or something???" they were a bloody pain for a few weeks until they came around and realised its what i want, now they so proud im starting training, so just let them think it over because at the end of the day its your future not theirs

john

Posted: Wed 20 Jul, 2005 2:28 pm
by flo
If all else fails play the other card, and tell them you want to become a professional transvestite and do pantomine, they will be signing the forms before you get your lippy on. :D

Posted: Wed 20 Jul, 2005 2:41 pm
by jockladfaejockland
tell them you can't "play soldiers" in the Navy you play able seamen! :D

Posted: Wed 20 Jul, 2005 3:33 pm
by flo
Unless you are a wren and you can play with soldiers, airmen and sailors!! :o :wink:

Posted: Wed 20 Jul, 2005 10:51 pm
by Hostage_Negotiator
Crack on Flo!
Sounds like you've got this Tri-Service malarkey sussed! :wink:

Posted: Wed 20 Jul, 2005 11:38 pm
by flo
Well its better than playing by yourself :lol: :wink:

But going back to the topic in question, my mother was so opposed to me joining up it caused a huge family rift, but the forms were signed and of to Raleigh i went, week 5 came and i wanted out but the fact that my mother didnt want me to go in the first place was enough for me to stick it and complete basic, there was no way i was going home with my tail between my legs to be told, 'I TOLD YOU SO!'.

My only regret was i had no-one there for my pass out parade. :cry: But when i went home on leave my mother was so proud and im sure when robcoh gets his way and joins up his parents will see the light and be proud.

Hope it all turns out for the good.

Posted: Thu 21 Jul, 2005 8:58 am
by jockladfaejockland
aye crack on mate and all the best :D

Posted: Fri 22 Jul, 2005 9:17 am
by robcoh
Thanks alot for all your replies, some of you were really helpful, i think they are slowly turning towards the idea of me joining, but are still slightly against it, their main arguement is that im throwing 11 years of private education down the drain but I think they will come around soon.

Thanks

Rob

Posted: Fri 22 Jul, 2005 9:31 am
by toffee40
hi-all the best-my son is 17 and a very bright lad-he has always set his heart on joining the armed forces but his school teachers had him lined for oxbridge-he didn't want to spend his life behind a desk.
he has now got a medical for an eye check after appealing a medical bar and if o.k will enter in october.
as a mum i was worried when he first mentioned the forces but 40 yrs unhappy in a career is a long time-after learning more about his opportunities in the navy i now realise-he can still do a degree,will have a secure career, a trade and most of all -WILL BE HAPPY.-try discussing your opportunities with your mum and dad or get them in to speak to the afco staff. i'm sure thay will consider things differently

Posted: Sat 23 Jul, 2005 9:47 am
by OMSSMretd
Hi ya mate as an ex submariner that served 6 years man and boy I would definitely recommend you finish your education and get your degree first before you make a decision about joining dont be tempted to join up as an om or whatever they are calling them nowadays. Your parents shouldnt worry over much though as if you play your cards you can make a very good career for you self. If this is the career you've chosen to persue you owe it to your self to make sure that you go in at a level that suits your academic abilities. Take my case for example I left school with nine gcse all above c, I could have gone on to any college I liked but joined the Navy instead, once in the mob I felt I'd been conned a little bit as I was told that you could carry on your education as you get promoted etc.
However after leaving six years later at 22 I still only had 9 gcses in the mean time Id picked up a family so I was no longer in a position to carry on with my education after a further five years of doing low paid jobs. Im now doing my degree in english with the view to being a teacher. My point is that if id carried on with my education and got a degree I would have had the choice to join as an officer (which is more satifing career wise than being a rating) or if I had gone off the idea I would have had the option of a post grad career. When my son is ever interested in joining up I would give him the same advise as you, yes join up but not until youve completed your education. I hopes this helps theres nothing worse than scrubbing out for six years and knowing your capable of much more.

Posted: Thu 29 Jun, 2006 11:00 am
by batess01
When I told my father i wanted to join the marines he thought i was joking, when i told my mother she thought i was joking.

This "joke" went on for a while, until they found sh^t loads through the post on marines, about 4 books on marines from amazon, and me on the phone to the AFCO.

That is when they knew i was serious, they are just shocked i would say.

My dad has got over it now, and said he will help me as much as he can on becoming a royal marines officer.

MY mum is still against it, she doesnt want me to go to war. This just makes my dad laugh, as he had his green lid and was in the falklands and it is exactly what his mum said.

good luck on convincing them, just stick at it chief,

thanks,
seb

Posted: Thu 29 Jun, 2006 11:08 am
by james_m
They thought you were a 'joke'?

Cheers
James

Posted: Thu 29 Jun, 2006 11:10 am
by batess01
They thought the idea of me joining was a joke. :lol: