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How To Clean Your Toilet - The Fun Way

Posted: Sun 27 Jun, 2004 9:12 pm
by bootneck
Instructions on how to clean your toilet!!

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".

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6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely,

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The Dog


Just in case you hadn`t Guessed, I hate CATS

Posted: Sun 27 Jun, 2004 10:00 pm
by bootneck
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i like the three notes at the bottom ( pardon the pun) right of Tommy Toilet

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Posted: Sun 27 Jun, 2004 10:28 pm
by Tab
Hey Bootneck, I was wondering if you had tried cleaning the toliet with your Doberman rather than your cat, now you could sell tickets for that.

:drinking: :drinking: :drinking: :drinking: :drinking: :drinking: :drinking: :drinking: :drinking: :drinking: :drinking:

Posted: Sun 27 Jun, 2004 10:34 pm
by bootneck
I think i`d need a bigger toilet Tab, best stick to the fire hose for the dog :lol:
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Posted: Sun 27 Jun, 2004 11:05 pm
by Scottish Thistle
You're a cruel, cruel man Bootneck.

Albeit a funny one :lol: :lol:

Posted: Sun 27 Jun, 2004 11:07 pm
by bootneck
why thank you Heather :lol: i`ll take that as a compliment :wink:

Posted: Sun 27 Jun, 2004 11:12 pm
by Scottish Thistle
Although how can you possibly hate ickle little pussy cats? :cry:

Posted: Sun 27 Jun, 2004 11:16 pm
by bootneck
Scottish Thistle wrote:Although how can you possibly hate ickle little pussy cats? :cry:
Maybe if they shat on someone elses front lawn for a change my view would change..................................Nah, it wouldn`t, I`d still want to drown each and every one of them :lol: 8)

Posted: Sun 27 Jun, 2004 11:38 pm
by Marina
Oh My God ! :o

I can't believe you did that Bootneck ! :o
I am begining to see you in a different light :o :o :o
The poor defenceless feline

Posted: Mon 28 Jun, 2004 10:55 am
by bootneck
Marina wrote:Oh My God ! :o

I can't believe you did that Bootneck ! :o
I am begining to see you in a different light :o :o :o
The poor defenceless feline
marina, i was going to post the photo`s of the cat after i`d dried it out...........................in the :microwave: :D :wink: 8)

Posted: Mon 28 Jun, 2004 11:48 am
by Artist
How do you make a cat bark?

Dip it in petrol, put a match to it and watch it go "WOOF!" :D

Artist

Posted: Mon 28 Jun, 2004 12:15 pm
by chrisfow
There should be a mass cull of all cats, preferably by dogs :)

Bring back roman blood sports...how I would love to see those thick creatures being mauled by a beefy rottweiler or a super intelligent collie :lol:

I spose for now it will just have to be in my dreams!

Chris

Posted: Mon 28 Jun, 2004 12:16 pm
by minimac
Hey! Zip it 8) :P

Cats are nice pets!

Posted: Mon 28 Jun, 2004 12:19 pm
by davo141
cats are a lazy mans pet and everyone knows!

if it was a pet you would have to clean its toilet...
feed it all the time
know where it is almost all the time

the neighboughs usually pick up the cat shat from there garden for you
the little old ladies feed and give it milk
and well...do you know where your cat is!?

them and horses really do my rag in!

why do dog owners have to pick up a ickle bit of crap when a horse's stools could engulf a small car! and smell 20 times as bad!!!

:roll: :roll: :lol:

Posted: Mon 28 Jun, 2004 12:25 pm
by Guest
minimac wrote:Cats are nice pets!
You have got to be joking. Cats are horrible sick eating beings. They come and rub against you and THEY ARE AFRAID OF WATER FOR F*CKS SAKE! How wet can you be to be afraid of water (sorry for the pun*.) Whenever a cat comes near me, i have to kick it, sorry but i feel it is my dog-loving nature to do so!

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