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A bit of a grand title for what I'm after which (because I'm a bit of an IT biff) should be pretty simple.

I'd be really grateful if someone could help me put together a design for the front page of a diary that I've had typed up. The diary was written by John Cecil (who tragically died in Iraq - hence me putting together a memento) and covers a bike ride that a few of us did. The trip was for charity and was a lands end - john o'groats with a difference - a pint in a pub called the Swan in every county we went through (ended up being over 1000 miles - and a few pints ). The trip was called the Swan Run and I'd like to put a swan pub sign on the front page together with a corps crest - maybe jpegs on a word document. I've tried the internet but I can't change the size of anything I've downloaded.

Sounds a bit soft but the diary is a cracking read and I've had a few requests for a copy so I thought I'd try to make a decent job of it.

Thanks all in eager anticipation.

Sticks MacBlue, the phantom Bandy in Tiger skin is yer man. ha has all the tricks and a few more Sully. Wake up Sticks, you are needed.

'G' anybody?

Moocho grasias El Prez. I'll have done well on this one - didn't write it, got somebody to type it up, somebody else to do the cover (hopefully) and someone waiting in the wings to bind it. OBE anyone?

I don't want to prejudice Stick's generous confirmation of your offer of his services but it sort of reminds me of being a signaller on ship when the SOP was to play dumb so that Jack could show you how clever he was while you disappeared to the Naafi flat and Jack basked in his feeling of superiority. "Erm, Jack could you just remind me who the bone one is?"

But, Sticks, in all honesty I can't do this one and have been tearing my hair out trying

He's on his way, as we type, bugle cord flaying his back and a few extra dints in his snare drum.........that man........Double!

my feelings won't be hurt!

Wait until we get you to Okehampton oh bungler of notes!