Royal Marines has ruined my head
Posted: Sun 29 Oct, 2006 2:59 am
I wish I had never walked into that careers office,
about 4 years ago my mate was rejoining the marines, I'd heard of them but didn't know really what all the fuss was about.I went with him to the careers office and the guy started asking if I was up for it, and after a bit of banter I agreed to try it out, he basically said go as far as the prmc and see if you like it.
Fair enough, did the tests, got down to the prmc and had the sharpest shock to the system I'd ever had, couldn't walk for 3 days. Failed the prmc and was gutted, at first was relieved to be out of there and then once the pain had gone, I started to feel guilty, very gulity at failing something. Managed to get another crack at it, still didn't want to join but needed to pass the prmc, trained hard this time and passed 3 months later. Next thing I know, Career guys got me a entry date, wtf. Never said I was going to join, he just assumed since I wanted to do another prmc. The guy had been fantastic and didn't want to let him down, so said o.k, thought just do my 2 weeks and get my opt out, 3-4 weeks I'm out of there, Then everyone's happy.
Joined up and I must confess as the days went on, I loved it. I always hated leaving home as used to get homesick alot as a youngster and cry for mom. While I was there I never missed home once, gained about 40 brothers in the first 2 weeks.
After about 8 weeks, could see my motivation down there was not to fail a test, rather than the other guys who really wanted the green lid. At times I could see I was different from those boys, so decided to call it a day,
I've been out now for about 2 years, and at least once a week I get dreams about being in the marines, wanting to re-join. I even get dreams about being at lympstone and the section corporal telling me that I would have dreams about not being in the marines and being back home, a dream within a dream, Absolutley crazy. Don't get me wrong, there not nightmares just head bangers.
One of the worst things is, when you here on the tv that someones been killed, the guilt is something I've rarely felt, especially when on the odd occasion a royal loses there life, knowing you left early for whatever reason.
I wish I'd never been taken out of my boring civy box 4 years ago and glimpsed a the different world.
I imagine it's even worse for you guys that have been in years,
about 4 years ago my mate was rejoining the marines, I'd heard of them but didn't know really what all the fuss was about.I went with him to the careers office and the guy started asking if I was up for it, and after a bit of banter I agreed to try it out, he basically said go as far as the prmc and see if you like it.
Fair enough, did the tests, got down to the prmc and had the sharpest shock to the system I'd ever had, couldn't walk for 3 days. Failed the prmc and was gutted, at first was relieved to be out of there and then once the pain had gone, I started to feel guilty, very gulity at failing something. Managed to get another crack at it, still didn't want to join but needed to pass the prmc, trained hard this time and passed 3 months later. Next thing I know, Career guys got me a entry date, wtf. Never said I was going to join, he just assumed since I wanted to do another prmc. The guy had been fantastic and didn't want to let him down, so said o.k, thought just do my 2 weeks and get my opt out, 3-4 weeks I'm out of there, Then everyone's happy.
Joined up and I must confess as the days went on, I loved it. I always hated leaving home as used to get homesick alot as a youngster and cry for mom. While I was there I never missed home once, gained about 40 brothers in the first 2 weeks.
After about 8 weeks, could see my motivation down there was not to fail a test, rather than the other guys who really wanted the green lid. At times I could see I was different from those boys, so decided to call it a day,
I've been out now for about 2 years, and at least once a week I get dreams about being in the marines, wanting to re-join. I even get dreams about being at lympstone and the section corporal telling me that I would have dreams about not being in the marines and being back home, a dream within a dream, Absolutley crazy. Don't get me wrong, there not nightmares just head bangers.
One of the worst things is, when you here on the tv that someones been killed, the guilt is something I've rarely felt, especially when on the odd occasion a royal loses there life, knowing you left early for whatever reason.
I wish I'd never been taken out of my boring civy box 4 years ago and glimpsed a the different world.
I imagine it's even worse for you guys that have been in years,