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No 6 has excelled itself on the lunacy scale today. And all the occupants thereof were stone cold sober believe it or not.

Off I went to work .... 7.25 ish secure in the knowledge that me and the kids had had a sober, early night last night and looking forward to a restful, well deserved half term holiday.

11 am .... breaktime at Crowcroft Park Primary and me mobile goes off. 'Mum, there's been a fire.'

'On me way' shouts I , got a 38 mile drive home and trying not to panic. Phones Artist who, mercifully, is a mile or so from my house and is off like a bat out of hell to no 6.

An hour later I arrive home to find my daughter and her hamster still alive, thank fark, Artist up to his armpits in muck and shite and the son and his mate (whose fault it was) running up Bickerton Hills.

Long story cut short. Lads are in a rush to go out running, smoke alarm didn't work, neighbours spotted black smoke and banged the fark out of the front door to wake Hannah up. Else she would surely be dead.

Cheers, Paul, for parking the CD player on top of a lit gaslight on the hob and farking up my six grand I'M A SCAMMER SPAMMER!!!.

Oh well, another notch in the bedpost at no 6. Everyone is alive. We are off to the pub to celebrate that fact.

Kinell ...... what the fark next?

Steve, at the risk of embarrassing you, you were an absolute superstar today. Me, mine and mines' friends love you.

Jayne xxxxxxx

Bloody hell Jayne, if there is anything you need or that we can do to help please just say the word.

main thing is everyone got out. Steve absolute diamond mate, Job well done.

Artist, good on you mate. It will be decorating next.

That house deserves a mention in despatches the amount of crap its been through

Well done Artist, I knew pants ontop of trousers would come in handy one day............and theres me thinking you were just weird

Fligthty, incase your tele isn't working.
Terry on Emmerdale has just shagged his sons Granny.
Glad everybody is safe.

got1 wrote:Fligthty, incase your tele isn't working.
Terry on Emmerdale has just shagged his sons Granny.
Glad everybody is safe.

New keyboard!!!!!!!!!!!

Wouldnt that be his Mum????? Yikes

Have I told anyone yet I trapped a lapdancer? No? Nothing to tell really

For Christs sake don't ask Steve to decorate,he only knows how to paint bleeding Roses and farking Castles!.
Glad to hear there were no casualties,you can get free smoke detectors you know,just phone your local smoke gobblers.
Hope that nice white leather settee is okay!.

SH

Ben and Paul out on the town last night after a family tea at the pub (had to eat out as the cooker has welded itself to every spare inch of work surface and CD player and is totally farked.)

'Guess what happened today? We set fire to the I'M A SCAMMER SPAMMER!!!.'

Oddly enough, no one seemed remotely surprised.

The whole house is black and we have woken up looking like Al Jolson stand-ins.

And it's amazing how a small house fire reveals hundreds, nay thousands, of cobwebs otherwise invisible to the naked eye. A bit reminiscent of the Ghost Ride at Alton Towers.

There is absolutely no way we can clean it ourselves and I have got my fingers crossed that the insurers will get the professionals in.

Thank Christ my mother is housebound and won't be 'dropping in' for a visit!!!!!

Jayne xx

Cheers, got1 for that information. I had been worrying about the goings on in Emmerdale.

Shoulderholster wrote: Hope that nice white leather settee is okay!.

SH

Shoulders ....... it's green. Whose bluddy house were YOU in??????

Jayne xx

That will explain why nobody else turned up to the party!!.

SH

The truth will always out!!

But it must have been my house ...... my sis remembers giving you a lift home.

Jayne xx

So that Gimp mask and the size 12 stilettos wern't yours then,and that chimp in the Elvis suit that started to rub baby oil on me...........glad I left when I did!.

SH

Sounds like a typical night round at no 6.

Ask Doc ...... he's still on medication.

Can I have me stiletttoes back?

Jayne xx

My dear aunty Jayne!
I'm glad nobody was hurt, not even the Hampster (did the Cat die though?).

I assume Paul put the fire out with a cup of cold tea.

Take care,
Benjo

Artist speaking from "Ground Zero"

Number 6 is still akin to a Goths style I'M A SCAMMER SPAMMER!!!. Black walls n ceilings......are they in fashion these days?

Millions of spiders have been seen with kit packed slowly exiting via the front door. Zillions of webs all over the house! Heres the crack ref the cause of the fire starting.

Eijut friend of Bens left an owd stereo on the still lit gas hob and then went for a nice run with the said Ben. His last words on leaving were; and I quote! "That Stereos a fire Hazard!?!?!?!"

This part time member of the human race called Paul reminds me of a disaster looking for an area. I am convinced that if the poor sap fell in a bucket or "BRUT" smellies he'd come out smelling of White Dog Shite!!!!!

Heres and E.G. on the buggers luck (such as he has) Goes to a hole in the wall machine at a garage.......Is mugged! Fights back and headbutts the mugger. Knocks himself out!!!!

Anyway we'em off to visit Flightys Sister. Get this! She wants me to do a picture of her Doggie!?!?! Watch and Shoot!!

Artist