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Crimbo Laughs
Posted: Sat 10 Dec, 2005 12:49 am
by Beast
Well i thought i would start off, heres my pic for the day...
Short
Posted: Mon 12 Dec, 2005 10:06 pm
by owdun
Nominated as the best short joke this year . . .
A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.
"Mom", he asked, "are these my brains?"
"Not yet," she replied
Aye Owdun
Posted: Tue 13 Dec, 2005 11:43 am
by Artist
Artist
Posted: Tue 13 Dec, 2005 2:47 pm
by Winnie
Winnie.
Posted: Tue 13 Dec, 2005 4:06 pm
by Scottish Thistle
Posted: Fri 16 Dec, 2005 10:50 am
by Beast
21 Things You Can Only Get Away With Saying At Christmas…
1. I prefer breasts to legs.
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. Smother the butter all over the breasts!
4. If I don’t undo my trousers, I’ll burst!
5. I’ve never seen a better spread!
6. I’m in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you’ll get some!
10. Don’t play with your meat.
11. Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.
12. Do you think you’ll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn’t expect everyone to come at the same time!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you put it in?
16. You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up.s
17. Just pull the end and wait for the bang.
18. That’s the biggest bird I’ve ever had!
19. I’m so full, I’ve been gobbling nuts all morning.
20. Wow, I didn’t think I could handle all that and still want more!
21. I do like a good stuffing.
Posted: Fri 16 Dec, 2005 11:16 am
by GGHT
That's like a script from a Carry On film lol.
Posted: Mon 19 Dec, 2005 2:29 pm
by Artist
This one always cracks me up!
Artist
Posted: Mon 19 Dec, 2005 3:02 pm
by Wully
A Christmas Story
'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole darn works!
I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!
Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.
There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season
Byeee, Santa
