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Re Freddies retort, it was your idea to go out in wife beaters and chat up matelots at the bar, how could I trap with a fat David Coulthard as a (brown)wingman.
Back to the point in hand, if you are struggling to tell a party how essence you think she is just say" I would crawl naked over a hundred miles of broken glass just to lick your shit" she'll laugh or throw a drink over you, either way you'll find out if she's up for making the beast with two backs or you can move on.

Guess who ended up with a kebab with extra hot chilli sauce after airing these old ones:

1. Hi who does your make-up, pollyfilla

2. There nice, just like tits, only smaller

3. Tell me is it just a hobby, or are you a professional lesbian.

and finally

4. Is your twat as fat as the rest of you.

Having spent an enlightning evening on the piss, down Union Straza with a couple of oppos and their lassise, we ended the evening with a meal at Maggies(remember her, bottom end of Straza, only place you could get steak,egg and chips on the never never, especially on a blank week, Bootnecks only) I digress. Me mate, with his blind date, who had taken quite a shine to him, were sat together at table when he let out an eeeeenormously loud FART. Quick as a flash he retorted in an equally loud voice, so evryone could hear...........
"Don't worry Love I'll own up to that one "!

This also heard at the RN School of Dancing............Ayoop Lass do yr F**k", reply...............NO
Retort "Not much chance of a dance then "!!!!

To a lap-dancer in Brum,(five days after the snip)
"do what you like, love, just don`t touch me bollocks"
She gave me her card

Harry Trappers