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A guy & a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide
to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his
shirt and then washes his hands.


He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands again.
The girl's been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist."
The guy, surprised, says "Yes....how did you figure that out?"
"Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands."
One thing led to another and they make love.
Afterwards, the girl says, "You must be a good dentist."

The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Sure, I'm a good dentist, how
did you figure that out?"

"Didn't feel a thing!"

> BULLFROGS AND BLOW JOBS
A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday.
After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive
She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn't want to
spend > a fortune.
"Well," said the clerk, "I have a very large bullfrog. They say it's
been trained to give blowjobs!"
"Blowjobs!?" the woman replied.
"It hasn't been proven but we've sold 30 of them this month." he said. The woman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if it's true... no more blowjobs for her! She bought the frog.
When she explained froggy's ability to her husband, he was extremely
sceptical and laughed it off. The woman went to bed happy, thinking
she may never need to perform this less than riveting act again.
In the middle of the night, she was awakened by the noise of pots and
pans banging and crashing sounds.
She ran downstairs to the I'M A SCAMMER SPAMMER!!!, only to find her husband and the frog
reading cookbooks.
"What are you two doing at this hour?" she asked.
The husband replied, "If I can teach this frog to cook, your ass is gone!"





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IncrediMail - Email has

Subject: A Beer before it starts!

A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite
chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick,
bring me a beer before it starts" She
looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer.

When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another
beer. It's gonna start." This time she looked a
little angry, but brought him a beer.

When it was gone, he said, "Quick, another beer before
it starts."

"That's it!" She blows her top, "You bastard! You
waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say
hello to me and then expect me to run around like your
slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and
wash and iron all day long?"

The husband sighed. "Oh damn, it's started!!!!!!"

How many etheopians does it take to change a light bulb?


3. one to change the light and two to eat the packages.

Great Femal comeback lines...

Man "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."
Woman "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"

Man "Haven't we met before?"
Woman "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman "I'm a female impersonator."

Man "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman "Sorry, I don't date outside my species.."

Q: What has 4 legs and one arm?
A: A Doberman in a playground

Q. What do you call an Ethiopian with a swollen toe?
A. A golf club.

Steven Spielberg has a talent for making memorable movies, merchandisers have a knack for turning those movies into products for the kiddies to buy, buy, buy, and Hollywood executives will do just about anything (no, make that anything) to squeeze every last nickel out of a picture. So I guess what's arriving on the toy store shelves, just in time for the Xmas holidays:

The Schindler's List E-Z-Bake Action Figures (lightbulb not included

Three men had a very late night drinking Guiness.

They left in the early morning hours and each went to their home. The next day, they all met for an early pint, and compared notes about who was drunker the night before.

The first guy claims that he was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home and walked into the house. As soon as I got through the door, I blew chunks."

The second guy said, "You think that was drunk? Hell, I got into my car and wrapped it around the first tree I saw. And I don't even have insurance!"

The third guy proclaimed, "Damn, I was the drunkest by far. When I got home, I got into a big fight with my wife, knocked a candle over, and burned the whole house down!"

The room was silent for a moment.

Then, the first guy spoke out again, "Listen, guys, I don't think you understand...

Chunks is my dog."

cop stops his police car when he sees a couple sitting on the curb. The chap is laying on his side with his trousers pulled down, the girl has her finger in his asshole, and she's reaming away with a vengeance.

The cop says, "What the hell is going on here?"

The girl says, "This is my date. When I told him I wouldn't spend the night with him, he started pounding down the booze. Now, he's too drunk to drive me home, so I'm trying to sober him up by making him puke."

The cop says, "That's not gonna make him puke."

She says, "Yeah? Wait till I switch this finger to his mouth

What did the cannibal do after dumping his wife?...

He wiped his ass!

Q: What sits in the corner of the I'M A SCAMMER SPAMMER!!! and gets smaller and smaller???
A: A baby with a poato peeler...

A Jewish girl came home one day and says, "Ma, I got married." Her mother says, "That's great!"
The girl says, "But Ma, he's an Arab." Her mother says, "Oy, that's not so great."

The girl says, "But Ma, he's an Arab sheik. He's wealthy beyond your wildest dreams. You and Daddy are going to live in the lap of luxury for the rest of your lives."

Six months later, the Jewish girl walks into the house and says, "Ma, I love my Arab sheik, but my God, all he wants to do is screw me in my ass. Day and night, all he'll do is bang me in the ass. When I got married, my asshole was like a dime. Now it's like a silver dollar."

Her mother says, "So for ninety cents, you're going to make trouble?"

Two necrophiliacs are walking down the street when they pass a funeral home. One turns to the other and says:

"Hey, you wanna go in for a couple of cold ones?

girl goes to the gynecologist for the first time. She's up in the stirrups, and the doctor notices she's trembling. He says: "You're nervous, aren't you?"
"Yes, it's my first visit to a gynechologist."
"Would you like me to numb you down there?"
"Oh, yes please."

He sticks his face between her legs and goes: "Num, num, num . . ."

A teacher asks the children to discuss what their fathers do for a living.
Little Mary says: "My Dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad guys in jail."
Little Jack says: "My Dad is a doctor. He makes all the sick people better."
All the kids in the class had their turn except Little Johnny.
Teacher says: "Johnny, what does your Dad do ?"
Johnny says: "My Dad is dead."
"I'm sorry to hear that, but what did he do before he died ?"
"He turned blue and shit on the carpet."

This guy is really horny, but all he has is two dollars. He goes to the nearest whore house and says to the man working there, "Look, I`m really horny, but all I have is two dollars. What can I get?"
"Well, the cheapest we have is one hundred dollars. But I`ll cut you a deal on two conditions. For two dollars, I`ll let you go down two doors on the right, but you have to wear a black condom, and leave the lights out!"
"A while later he comes back out and says "Well, the sex was pretty good but why did I have to wear the black condom?"
"You gotta show some respect for the dead!"