MilitaryForums.co.uk

Running around in Gateshead, England with a bunch of geordies piss drunk with a road pylon on your head. I should upload the picture...

waking up in the bathroom in the bath with a piss wet quilt laid on top of you

How my missus managed to get me from the the bed to the bath is still a mystery, needless to say I didn't get breakfast in the morning, probably compounded by the fact that me mucker who was crashing in the spare room had also splashed down... 2 new mattresses later and a lot of "I'm sorry love it won't hapeen again" and we are on talking terms

ONE SATURDAY IN THE SUMMERTIME

Inspecting the Corp of drums at Eastney prior to them beating retreat for the Officers Mess Summer ball.

Then having a "SESS" in the Verge Inn with some Oppos.

Then going into the Sgts Mess and being "The life and soul of the party" (in my own eyes)

Then getting my head down in a spare cabin in the Mess, getting up in the night and swamping in some poor blokes Locker because it's roughly the same amount of paces and in roughly the same location as the bathroom is in me house!

Then doing the Nine O'Clock walk Monday morning to "Have a chat with the RSM" ref me exploits over the weekend.

Then going into the same Mess for Stand Easy and getting "FUNNY" looks from everyone whether they had witnessed the events or not.

And finally going home and explaining to my better half that I would be on duty every night for the next two weeks!

SOD IT! great times, bloody great times! Would do it all again.

Artist

When you get caught at midnight, P****d as a newt, bouncing on the kids trampoline - NAKED by the mother in law. and yes it was me and they have phots to prove it.

When you come home at night and 'make' things...........

Gore.

Or when you get arrested by Gore.............

Gore.

When you decide to try out a new career guiding traffic from the middle of one of the busiest crossroads in Glasgow City Centre. All while throwing up violently with my stilettos in my hand.

Class? Me? But of course

when you get off with your best friends little sister then end up sleeping at an ex-girlfriends house and get caught by the current girlfriend

... when you find any woman associated with the military attractive. Army arse or the wives sagging norks. Not fun. *

* excluding of course the cracking women from certain corps and maybe the RAF in a certain light and if you're desperate.

You go walking around the lakes with your friend and his girlfiend (on a bitterly cold decembers night) and decide to go for a swim . 10 minutes later your totally naked swimming around the murky lake, they steal your clothes and put them on the pub bar that overlooks the lake. You walk in starkers and order a pint before being escorted out to be dressed

Ill never forget the faces of the peopl drinking outside the pub as i swam towards them (about 800M) , climbed up the bank walmed my hands by the gas heated thingy and walked into the bar.

When you wake up trapped inside the duvet cover unaware of how you got in there in the first place and the person next to you says "Well at least it fits". Then you wonder who the hell the person next to you is?

When you and your mates are walking back to yours and you happen to pass temp traffic lights. You then arrive home grab your tool bag, return to said lights, unplug them from the generator and then dismantle the lights and stand. After carrying both a mile home you re-erect them in the hallway, stand et all, you then go to bed.

On waking up and realising what you've done and you place them in back of a car and drive to the countryside and dump them in a lay-by.

Brought back some memories that

We managed to get a whole roadworks set up back to our grot one night. No idea how we managed to get it through the main gate.

We had flashing orange lights, those orange and white barrier things, some traffic cones, a couple of those men digging road sign triangle jobbies and to cap it all, a load of cats eyes

Then there was the hanging baskets that we carried from the middle of town

The other thing that we used to do on the long walk back from town, was move the "For Sale" signs in the housing estate.
Yes I know....tres juvenile...but we thought it was funny after a skinful

gone

Its even better on bulk rubbish days now.... On a sunday night we put it out and sit in the garden with the neighbours getting drunk on cheap corn and warsteiner. We sit and wait for the Turks in the big white van to drive past and then we spoof to see who is going to get in the large repack box which incidentaly is parked up next to the rubbish. It is hilarious when they think they are going to get a freebie bargain when Royal jumps out and legs it down the road. My god the amount of times i have nearly wet my knickers laughing my head off.

Ps ive been in the box only once and the buggers taped it up.

OOOoooh another one we did.... when my washing machine went belly up we put that out for bulk rubbish. But we went to Markof (store) and bought the biggest pair of knickers we could find and placed them in the drum of the machine. The turks were a bit reluctant to take it but jed managed to explain that it worked, at this point my neighbour ran out of the garden and jumped into the back of the open truck and shouted stop stop, the turks didnt know what hit them when she opened the door and took out her knickers and promptly put them on in front of them. Sad thing was they fitted her.