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I thought this was quite good.

A Para dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter asks him at the gates: "tell me of your idea of heaven, and it shall be so." So the Para says, "well, my idea of heaven would be a beach with pure white sand, clear blue sea, loads of beautiful women, sun always shining, and most importantly, NO ROYALS!" "It shall be done" says St. Peter. And sure enough, the Para and St. Peter appear on a brilliant beach, surrounded by beautiful women, baking sun shining down. "What do you reckon?" says St. Peter. "It's brilliant" says the Para- "everything I asked for, and no Royal...." He stops short, as he notices a RIB speeding across the horizon. As the RIB gets closer, he sees the pilot of the RIB has a green lid on. "What the Hell is that?" says the Para. "I thought I said no Royals." "That's not a Royal" says St. Peter, "that's God- he thinks he's one."

One reason the Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don't speak the same language.

For example, if you told the Navy personnel to "secure a building," they would turn off the lights and lock the doors.

The Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter.

The Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat.

The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.


Heh. But yeh there is always gonna be banter between all the forces, its a good thing to really so long as it stays friendly!

Matelots are the best! nuff said

Most of 3 Para were drinking in THEIR Pub on a "Saturday Night Run Ashore" after defeating the Royal Marine Rugby League Team for the first time in 4 years. As you can imagine the merriment was more than substantial, at last the lads had something to Brag about, they've DONE ROYAL and DONE UM WELL and the Trafalgar Cup was sitting in the Hofficers Mess Trophy Cabinet. (Didn’t matter that 40 and 45 were deployed else where at the time so only a "B" side could be Fielded). As the Drink was Flowing and the Lamp was Swinging a Lone Royal Marine opens the door to THEIR Domain, and quietly says, "any one Royal Marine can kick the shite out of any two Paras", Quickly 2 Paras were appointed to take royal apart, up they jumped and proceeded through the door after Royal. There were screams of pain and shouts of misery, Royal must truly be getting another Beating. The door opens and once again the Lone Royal Marine speaks quietly to the Para throngs, "Any One Royal Marine can Punch Out any 6 Paras", Fake this, Up jumps the 6 biggest meanest UGLIEST Paras you’ve ever seen and out they go after Royal.
Shouts, Yells, Thuds, Screams, Moans and then silence, Royals really paid for his disrespect this time, he’s dead.
Quietly and for the third time the door opens once again, the Lone Royal Marine appears and in a whisper, states "Any ONE ROYAL MARINE can STOMP anything the Paras can muster and in here there's not enough". Royal left as quietly as he had arrived. Now the Para's have had enough of this Royals insolence and decided that ALL would teach him the error of his ways. On their rush to the door it opened again and there stood a Para covered from head to foot in Blood, Snot and Tears and through broken teeth and swollen lips he shouted, "DON'T, Don’t go out there, its a fakin ambush there’s TWO of the Bassards"
The Old Uns are the BEST or they wouldn’t STILL be doing the rounds.
Remember only 99.9% need apply.

Artist, You've NEVER had a friendly encounter with OTHER Service Personnel

JWT

Brain Cells Going Rapidly. If anyone is interested there is a Rugby League Match between Royal and Para this Wednesday at Taunton Rugby Union Ground, Kick of at 18.30 Hours and for the Trafalgar Cup. HONEST. Be there many of us will.

JWT.

JWT

Lots of friendly encounters have occurred betwixt me and other members of the Armed Forces!

I'm an all round good egg and brick. Worked with various Army units and got on with them. Blimey I even taught some on the AACC. Served on board HM ships both as a member of the ships company and embarked force. I even married a Naval Nurse! Pop was RAF, most of me family are or where in the RAF and the Army. Me drinking Oppo in my village was an Ex Para. He's since moved so I don't see him as much as I did.

I just have a very low threshold when Eijuts get on me tits is all!!

Artist

Very amused i personally LOVE the banter,i believe its something most forces try and avoid but thats because they know theyll lose the arguement hehe
Just thought id add one,since you guys missed it out

What does ' ARMY ' stand for?????


' AINT READY for MARINES YET '

Tugg

Update on Royal Marines V Para's, Trafalgar Cup, Rugby League.

With GREAT PRIDE and JOY I report that Royal won 20 -- 06 and deservedly so. Great Match, Para never had a look in, as soon as the lads came onto the pitch "Looking the Business" you just knew there was only going to be ONE WINNER, ROYAL.
Five matches Played, 4 -- 1 to Royal, next years match to be played at Aldershot, Friendly Rivalry, Yep, 5 -- 1.

A few Para's stayed behind after the match and we took them under our wing and lead them into the Abyss called Taunton to sample the delights on offer.
Sorry have to call them Cinderella’s, they were all gone by 12 just as the Wets started to flow full force and Royal was getting in his stride BUT like the Rugby League, THEY DID TRY. 10 OUT OF 10.

JWT.

GOD IS ARMY

I saw a match between the Marines and the Paras last year in Aldershot unfortunately the Marines lost by a few points but the highlight was seeing a complete 30 man brawl in the second half!

James D. Not just the Second Half, also First Half, Half Time Break, in the Bar, in the NAAFI, In the Pubs and Clubs in the Town. ALL WE LOST WAS THE MATCH.