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On Spike Milligans tombstone is writen, "Under this sod lies a another sod"
Mae West when asked about All In Wrestling, said "If it's all in why wrestle"
Then a one of her classics "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me"

During a cricket commentary, one of them said The bowler is Holding, the batsmans Willey."
Another ocassion they said The slip fielder is standing there with his legs slightly apart wating for a tickle"

Sorry about that, it was (pointing at random) Him!
Well it works for me nine times out of ten.

Artist

Royal! on one of his many Jaunts,The only VC I want is a VC10 out of here?.Aye JR

Tab,
I think the cricket commentator you are recalling was David Coleman.
He made so many stupid statements that he had an entire column devoted to his screw-ups in Private Eye.
ColemanBalls I think it was called.

Here's a couple more quotes.

"Look at all those bleedin' Indians".
George Armstrong Custer.

"What f#cking log".
Richard Branson
Wholley.

"Support bacteria, it's the only culture some people have".

Steven Wright?

Men marry because they are tired, and women because they are curious, in the end both are disappointed."
Oscar Wilde

"Read my lips, No more new taxes."
George Bush #1

" We were attacked on 9/11 becase, they hate our freedom."
Take a guess on who said that.

Hi everyone,

Please carry on... this is very entertaining especially the Winston Churchill ones and Spike Milligan.
There was one quote by King George VI to to Winston Chuchill (or vice versa) regarding General Montgomery. I can't remember it exactly as they were quite scared of General Monty.

I wonder if any of you know it ?

I don't blame them being scared of Monty, while in Officers college he once poured petrol over a fellow student and set him on fire.

Monty Python
"No one expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our cheif weapon is surprise, fear and surprise; two cheif weapons, fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency! Er, among our chief weapons are: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and near fanatical devotion to the Pope! Um, I'll come in again..."

General john sedgewicks last words
"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist...."

Irish Proverb
An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto a blade of grass and not fall off the earth

Chris Rock
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.' Need I say more?

always go commando,
I don't think I'm ever going to stop laughing.
Chris Rock is something else
Wholley.

'I don't know what they do to the enemy. but my God they terrify me'

Wellington, the Iberian Peninsula speaking about the Britsh Army.

"I hope your bollocks turn into oxo cubes and all your sons are beef".
Sgt Jim Hathaway RM