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Posted: Tue 25 Mar, 2003 9:10 pm
by sharky
nipples like chappel hat pegs?
ooer, sorry missus
Posted: Tue 25 Mar, 2003 9:14 pm
by El Prez
Madam, I may be drunk, but in the morning I'll be sober, whereas you will still be ugly!
Posted: Tue 25 Mar, 2003 9:27 pm
by Sticky Blue
Face like a blind cobblers thumb.
Face like a pirates flag.
Face like a bulldog licking p*ss off a nettle.
Nipples like Scammel wheel nuts.
I was that p*ssed I didn't know wheather to scratch my watch or wind my ar*e.
I'm not saying she's been around but she's had more pric*s than a second hand dart board.
I'm not saying she's been around but she's had more c*ck than Bernard Matthews has got Turkeys.
I'm not saying that skirt is short but I've seen wider belts!
Look at her. It's like two zeppelins in a photo finnish.
If brains were dynamite he wouldn'yt have enough to blow and ant's nose.
If intelect was chocolate he wouldn't have enough to fill a smartie.
Posted: Tue 25 Mar, 2003 9:36 pm
by Jim T
"Got a match?"
"Yeah, your breath my fart!"
Jim T
Posted: Tue 25 Mar, 2003 9:38 pm
by Jim T
"I've heard that she's only ever been out with 2 Commandos"
"Yeah, 40 and 42!"
Jim T
Posted: Tue 25 Mar, 2003 9:40 pm
by Archie
Jim T
That's no way to talk about Tina.
Posted: Tue 25 Mar, 2003 9:42 pm
by Sticky Blue
My wife only slept with 2 Marines
The Royal Marines and the Dutch Marines!!
Posted: Tue 25 Mar, 2003 9:45 pm
by Sea Soldier
Knickers like funnel covers for Ark Royal
She's got more miles on the clock than a Pussers Landrover
Bangs like a Belt-fed Wombat
She's got a mouth like a torn pocket (remind you of anyone living @ No
10) ?
I'd only follow that Officer/SNCO out of idle curiousity
.... joined the Corps before the Dead Sea went sick
... was in a Combat Suit,while you were still in a Romper Suit
... was in Baghdad while you were still in Dad's bag
... was on the Main Gate while you were still on Cow & Gate
Posted: Tue 25 Mar, 2003 9:46 pm
by Archie
"Nice shooting Elmer"
Posted: Tue 25 Mar, 2003 10:08 pm
by Beasta
"She had a face like a slapped ar*e"
"It looked like a badly packed kebab" (think about it)
"She'd seen more Japs eyes than a Japanese commissioner.
Sorry for offence....

Posted: Tue 25 Mar, 2003 11:26 pm
by Chris B
He had more time off than Rip Van Winkle's bed side lamp.
This lot could bring a tear to a glass eye

Posted: Tue 25 Mar, 2003 11:28 pm
by Sticky Blue
More time off than the Colonels Combat Jacket!
Usefull as an ashtray on a moped
Usefull as Chocolate fireguard
Posted: Tue 25 Mar, 2003 11:49 pm
by Sea Soldier
How about ... "As much use as a Candy Floss Door Knocker" ?
Posted: Wed 26 Mar, 2003 12:27 am
by ringoo58
"Piss flaps like panniers on a lambretta".
C**T like a great coat sleeve.
Face like its been on fire and had been put out by a shovel.
Posted: Wed 26 Mar, 2003 12:38 am
by TheCount
We should have a restricted rude section in the forum....
Has anyone ever held doubts about the RM when they have met a girl who makes you want for nothing?
I have been in a relationship for a while but have just met a girl who has changed my outlook on things?
I feel confused, I'm only 21, I need some guidance
