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Posted: Wed 19 Nov, 2003 10:05 am
by Jason The Argonaut
When the England rugby team and Clive Woodward and landed in Australia he was asked at the customs desk have you any previous criminal convictions.
Clive replied I didn't know you still had to have one
Posted: Wed 19 Nov, 2003 3:36 pm
by kwew
What did Tarzan say to a herd of elephants?
Hello elephants
(how bad is that
)
Posted: Thu 20 Nov, 2003 7:57 pm
by Wully
> A cruise in the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship
> sinks, and there were only 3 survivors; David, Darren and
> Deirdre..........
>
> They manage to swim to a small island.......and they
> lived there for a couple of years............ doing what's natural
> for men and women to do.....
> After several years of casual sex all the time, Deirdre felt
> absolutely horrible about what she had been doing...................
> She felt having sex with both David and Darren was so bad that she
> killed herself...............
> It was very tragic but David and Darren managed to get through it
> and, after a while nature once more took its inevitable course..............
> Well, a couple more years went by and David and
> Darren began to feel absolutely horrible about what they where
> doing.....................
>
> So...............
>
>.They buried her.
>
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Posted: Fri 21 Nov, 2003 12:23 pm
by Jason The Argonaut
Michael Jackson on the run
Posted: Fri 21 Nov, 2003 12:42 pm
by Skiffle
NEWSFLASH
Jackson five to regroup for.....
Michael's ID parade
Posted: Sun 23 Nov, 2003 5:24 pm
by Jason The Argonaut
JACKO MEMORIAL JOKE 1:
Where's Michael going on holiday?
He's off to Tampa with the kids.
JACKO MEMORIAL JOKE 2:
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael?
"Excuse me, but you're in my son"
JACKO MEMORIAL JOKE 3:
How do kids at Neverland know when it's bedtime?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
JACKO MEMORIAL JOKE 4:
What does Jacko have in common with a Big Mac?
They're both old meat between young buns
JACKO MEMORIAL JOKE 5:
What does Jackson have in common with whisky?
They both come in small tots
JACKO MEMORIAL JOKE 6:
Good to see Jacko dangling his kid off the balcony.
Usually he just tosses them off.
JACKO MEMORIAL JOKE 7:
What do Michael and Wal-mart have in common?
They both have boys briefs half-off
JACKO MEMORIAL JOKE 8:
Jacko's wife has just given birth to a baby boy.
"How long before we start having sex?" asks Michael.
Doctor: "I'd wait until he's at least 14"
Posted: Mon 24 Nov, 2003 11:12 am
by BenChug
Personal favorite..
Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?
Acne doesn't usually cum on boys faces until they are at least 14.
Posted: Mon 24 Nov, 2003 11:21 am
by lew
thats just nasty guys...
lew
Posted: Wed 26 Nov, 2003 9:50 pm
by zero megahertz
Q. Whats black and white and found in a babys nappy?
A. Michael Jacksons hand.
Q. Why is Santa's sack so big?
A. Because he only comes once a year
Q. Why is Santas face red?
A. Your face would be red too if your sack was slung over your shoulder
Where does Ice Cream come from
Posted: Thu 27 Nov, 2003 1:52 pm
by Smiler.wales
try this
Posted: Thu 27 Nov, 2003 6:52 pm
by lostplanet
Posted: Sat 29 Nov, 2003 1:34 pm
by Jason The Argonaut
In a mental institution a nurse walks into a room and sees a patient acting like he's driving a car. The nurse asks him, "Charlie, what are you doing?"
Charlie replied, "Driving to Chicago!" The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room.
The next day the nurse enters Charlie's room just as he stops driving his imaginary car and asks, "Well Charlie, how are you doing?"
Charlie says, "I just got into Chicago".
"Great," replied the nurse. The nurse leaves Charlie's room and goes across the hall into Bob's room, and finds Bob sitting on his bed furiously masturbating. Shocked, she asks,
"Bob, what are you doing?!"
Bob says, "I'm screwing Charlie's wife while he's in Chicago!"
Posted: Sat 29 Nov, 2003 2:31 pm
by kwew
Two jump leads go into a bar, they ask the barman for a drink, he hesitates, looks them up and down and says "Ok ill serve you as long as you promise not to start anything".