I dont know if anyone remembers my post stating that I was suffering from tonsilitous and fevers ect the week before I was due to go down to CTC, well I believed as the pain had gone from my throat and I felt better than I had done, that I was all mended and ready to get on and crack my PRMC.
Turns out I wasnt mended and that even though I felt better, my physical strength and endurance had taken a massive knock and I had no physical energy. As my illness lasted into my 3 rest days prior to prmc I hadnt trained and so didnt know I was physically out of condition.....until the warm up for the 3 miler that is!
As soon as we started those sprints up and down the car park I knew I was in trouble and about 1.5 miles into the run itself I was f*cked to say the least.
In a normal training run, I can do a 3 miler in an average time of 19.5 mins so when I found myself falling away from the group, unable to breath and totally miffed as to what was wrong with me all i can say is I was devestated that I could see my dream kinda going t*ts up.
I finished the run, there was no way I was gonna drop out of it and get on the van but I had failed my PRMC at the first hurdle. Not good
Anyway when we got back to the accomadation I was told that as Id finished the run I could stay on the course to see what its like and get some experience. So I did.
When it came time for gym test 1 i went in with the attitude that maybe the run had been a one off and that if I tried hard i could possibly salvage something and get a place on a PRMDC or a short wait before a new PRMC.
That went right out the window as well when I failed to match any of my scores for the bleep test and upper body strength, I felt gutted as I left the hall.
Anyway, i spent alot of last night thinking hard about what I was going to do. i was staying there to try and impress the training team but in effect I felt like by getting crappy results I was just giving them the impression I was unfit and unprepared for PRMC.
So this morning I made the decision to withdraw myself from the course, because with bottom field and gym test 2 today I dont think id have made a particularly good impression feeling like I do.
I explained this to the members of the team and was told that I dont have to wait the full 6 months until I can try again, just 2/3 until im over this bug and back in shape....although in that time I intend to be 3 times as fit as I was!!
At the end of the day, although im devistated at whats happened after working so hard over the months, I feel like I made the right choice to withdraw and now after experiencing this, have 100 times more determination not to fail again for any reason. I always try to take sometime good away from anything bad that happens and im trying very hard to do the same here.
despite everything I did enjoy my time down at CTC, and the lads on the course were a great bunch. I didnt get to know alot of people but the ones in my room were a good laugh and all have alot of potential, so good luck to them all!
