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Right im not sure if im posting this in the right section but ill try anyway.

My problem is im 25 and ive been in the army for 8 weeks now, ive just come off xmas leave and im very depressed about being back at catterick, the thing is i joined the army before when i was 17 and i D.a.o.r'd after week 5.
Like i said im finding it very difficult being back in training purely because being at home for xmas leave has made me realise that i dont want to be living away from my partner for the next god knows how long, im regretting the choice ive made of joining up again.

I know they say you cant leave the army a second time but ive been told by current serving mates in the army that if you really want out you can get out.
Is this true???
any help would be much appreciated.

DAOR is a one shot deal you have used it and now its gone
4 years and 3 months to do

You have been back eight weeks and you want to jack it in???
you havent even got through phase one yet?
Its the old saying phase one isnt the army trust me.
Once your in its a different kettle of fish, How serious is this relationship???

You can get out by being a complete pain in the backside but I dont reccomend this course of action.

At least passout of phase one dont give up at the first hurdle.
What gives you the idea you will be away from her for so long???

its a serious relationship. ive been with her for the past 7 years.

So being a pain in the backside is basicaly the only way out , thats what i was thinking.

U say its a one shot only but ive been told that if you tell them the right thing then they cant make you stay in the army, if they think you will not be "fit to serve"

Depends on what you consider is the right thing.
7 years is a long time, any thoughts on marriage??
then when you finish work each night its home to the wife rather than in the block??

You signed a contract and agreed terms.

Are you serious? Im not going to lie I D.A.O.R when I was at the AFC 6 years ago when I was 16 after doing 26 or 28 weeks cant quite remeber, but my point is I gave it quite a go and realised I wasnt ready (maturatity wise and fitness wise), I now am waiting on my date for catterick and have made sure that Im not going to waste the training staffs time by increasing the difficulty of my training since selection by several miles (completed my first 8.5 mile run on monday), started wearing boots just to get used to them and am brushing up on a bit of map reading skills.

Basically im preparing myself in hindsight on the subjects I wasnt good at previously before, did you do the same before rejoining? Just get a grip of yourself and take it on the chin, your going to feel homesick thats understandable but jacking in after 8 weeks? Just remind yourself why you joined back up in the first place. Also just food for thought if you are at catterick just think, that could have been someone elses place your taking up matey. Good luck in whatever you do, but dig deep and bags of determination will see you through it.

Maybe the Army is just not for you. Nothing wrong in just excepting that and moving on. Even if it has taken you twice to realise.


Truth is if you really do poor or are consistent that you want to leave. I see no merit in making you serve your full term when you are not even out of training.


I can think of dozens of ways to leave the Army. Just really depends on your conviction.

Apply to leave, you may get the chance to go. No point in keeping someone who is going to be unable to focus.

Stick it through. I done that course of action when it was found I had a dodgy eye. I was lumped with all the other lads who were injured and shall we say a bit 'slow' and I absolutely hated it so I handed in my notice after a few week of putting up with it. However it soon became apparent after a few trips home to see friends and family that the reasons why I wanted to join up in the first place were still floating about in my head. There was nothing back home but the same old same old, Id realised Id made some cracking mates in the forces and learnt a great deal about myself. I decided to get back and withdraw my decision to want out. I knuckled down and made senior man in recruits and was for 4 of the 7 or 8 months that I was there. unfortunately I had to leave because of my eye problem, but I did find that once your head is in the right place and you give it 110% and shrug off the bollockins then its a good place to be and time flies. I always look back at the brief time I was there with good memories and Im happy that I gave it a more than fair crack of the whip - I just wish in a perfect world I didnt have my eye injury as Id be well into a good career that my mates, who did pass out, keep me up to date on from time to time.

Giving up in Basic is like walking out of a trial match for Man Utd because you feel a little tired!!!!

AT LEAST FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED!!!

You wont get a third chance!

Finishing your time in the Army is no more important that finishing a education/trade you don't like/enjoy or staying on a job you hate. The Army is nothing special in my book in that regard. All I would say is ask yourself……..have you given it a fair chance and can you live with this decision forever? To be fair eight weeks sounds a little early, I bet you are still being chased around day and night.


I would not waste 4 years of my life doing something I loathed or disliked. Don’t waste your time once you are certain of your decision. It will be harder to leave at the end of training believe me.


There is no shame. You have done more than many. Good luck. Army life is not for everyone anymore than all soldiers being successful in all civilian jobs

thanks for all the coments guys, the reason im wanting out at week 8 is because the daor window closes soon , so you cant say "oh ur giving up after just 8 weeks".

I dont feel like im "giving up" because the reason i joined the army was to make a better life for myself and my partner but we've discussed it and we can accept the fact that we dont want to be apart even if it means sacrificing what ive started. Im not in the army because i want too be to a certain degree, like i said it ws to have a secure life for both of us.
If i wasnt in a serious relationship with her i wouldnt even have joined.

I really dont know what to do, somedays i feel ok but the main thought of not wanting to have this life away from my home is still there.

Mate I hate to tell you but your DAOR window closed the first time you used it

I'm sorry about your situation mate...I personally don't know much (if anything) about the entire thing, BUT if you don't want to be away from your partner off 7 years....then why not get married? I mean after 7 year's you's are clearly stable? Then that would be you's wouldn't be apart....well just my two pennies!